S&J
by MissLindaLee
Summary: 440 cubic inch engine, 80 mph, 4 wheels, 1 winner. Crossover with Numb3rs, and a sequel to Golden Ratio. Dukes/Numbers Universe.
1. Chapter 1

Kelly sat at her desk, putting the final touches on a case report. She moved her pen down to the line where she was supposed to sign her name – and she paused, her pen hovering over the paper. She knew she had to sign it - it was her job – but she knew if she did, then it would mean it was finished, that everything was final. She had been preparing for this day for the past five months, but now it had come … and the young woman wasn't sure if she was ready at all. She dropped her pen, leaning back in her chair; she looked around her cubicle, staring at all the little things that made that little corner of the world her own: the abacus Charlie had given her, the five notes she had gotten her first day of her internship, the basset hound calendar that had been marked up with appointments and other things (including an X for each day marking her probation), and the two photos of herself with her father and the Eppes; she sighed wistfully. 

"Hey, you okay?"

Kelly looked over and saw Colby standing just outside her cubicle. She smiled at him. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said. "Just … just not sure if I'm ready for this."

"I'm gonna get some coffee," Colby said. "Why don't you join me?" Kelly hesitated, but soon she smiled and stood up, brushing past Colby; she poked her head into the cubicle across from her. "Paul?" Paul looked up from his crossword puzzle. "Colby and I are gonna get some coffee; I'll be right back."

"Don't be too long," Paul replied. Kelly nodded and left with Colby; the two headed to the break room and started making their coffee.

"You know," Colby said as he doctored his cup of coffee with sugar, "it's never easy uprooting yourself and moving to a new place … or to be going from place to place, never really knowing where you're going to be next …." He glanced over at the young woman as she held her cup of coffee and stared at him, head tilted a little. "Afghanistan."

"Uh huh," Kelly said.

"I'm just saying it is a little weird at first," Colby replied, "but it does get better." He shrugged. "And it's not like you're leaving alone."

Kelly smiled. "Oh, I see where this is goin'," she said. She pointed her stirring straw at Colby. "Yer sneaky, Agent."

"What?" Colby asked, trying to look innocent.

"Ya know what, Granger," Kelly said. "Ever since ya found out Charlie was comin' with me to DC, ya've been walkin' around, droppin' little comments about us."

"I've just been saying that I think you two make a cute couple," Colby replied, smiling. "And maybe you could actually do some dating when you get to DC."

Kelly shook her head, smiling, as she went back to stirring her coffee. With their workloads over the past month – along with their punishments from the Aon Center incident – Charlie and Kelly really hadn't had much time to do any dating. The only thing that made it bearable had been from the fact that they lived in the same house, so they were able to get some time together for themselves. "Is there another reason for this little tête-à-tête?" she asked.

Colby shrugged. "Got you smiling, didn't I?" he asked.

Kelly grinned and nodded. "Yeah."

"Then we're done," Colby replied. Kelly chuckled and shook her head, and the two headed out of the break room with their cups; they walked back to the bullpen and separated, going to their desks. Kelly entered her cubicle and stopped just inside. On her desk sat a box wrapped in shiny blue paper, with a silver bow on top; someone had tucked a folded note under the bow. She walked over, sat down, and put her cup aside before reaching for the note; she unfolded it and read the scrawled handwriting:

_Congratulations on a job well done. Consider this the first gift for your new office. Good luck, and we expect to hear great things from you._

_Don, Megan, David, and Colby_

Kelly smiled as she put the note aside, then unwrapped and opened the box, moving around the tissue paper. She gasped softly when she saw the contents; she reached inside, carefully pulled a small crystal figurine in the shape of a Psi symbol. The young woman leaned back in her chair, staring at the delicate object, touched by the gesture, then two arms wrapped around her from behind; a second later she felt a soft kiss on her neck.

"Nice Psi," a familiar voice said softly near her ear.

Kelly's smile widened as she turned her head to the side, locking on to Charlie's eyes. "It's from your brother and the others," she said.

"Well, that was nice of them," Charlie replied.

"Yeah," Kelly said, looking back at the glass figurine in her hands; she glanced up at the report on her desk with a hint of sadness in her eyes.

Charlie saw the flicker, and he tilted his head. "You okay?" he asked.

Kelly shrugged. "It just feels like I started workin' here yesterday," she answered. She turned to Charlie. "And now …."

"I know," Charlie replied. He kissed her gently.

Kelly smiled a little; she loved it when he kissed her. "So, what brings ya here?" she asked, her twang slipping out. "I thought ya had a meetin'."

"It was cancelled," Charlie answered.

"And yer classes?"

"Cancelled." Kelly raised an eyebrow, and Charlie sighed, pretending to look frustrated. "Fine, fine. If you must know, I came here because it's my girlfriend's last day of her internship, and I knew she was probably going to be feeling upset about it, and I thought I'd take her out to lunch."

Kelly grinned as she put the Psi figurine on her desk. "Well, this girlfriend of yers is really lucky to have such a sweet boyfriend," she said.

Charlie grinned. "And cute," he said. "Don't forget cute."

Kelly chuckled. "And cute."

"Although … you know, I could just stay with you instead," Charlie replied, grinning.

"And what would yer girlfriend think?" Kelly asked, smiling.

"Oh, I don't care," Charlie smiled. "You're much hotter than she is anyway; I'm thinking about dumping her."

"Yer evil," Kelly said before she leaned over and kissed him again. "So, ya really came here to take me out?"

"Yeah, if you're up for it," Charlie replied. "If you want to go home -"

"No," Kelly quickly interrupted. "We haven't had a date outside the house since … well, since the first time we went out. I crave PDA, Charlie."

Charlie tilted his head, confused. "You want a Blackberry?" he asked.

Kelly furrowed her eyebrows, then she got it; she shook her head. "No, ya twit, I don't want a Blackberry," she said.

"A Palm Pilot?"

Kelly sighed. "I don't want an electronic device, Charlie," she said. "PDA – as in Public Display of Affection."

"Oh," Charlie replied slowly; his eyes widened as the realization hit him. "Oh." Kelly smiled and shook her head again. "Well, uh … I think that can be arranged."

"Really?" Kelly asked. Charlie nodded, smiling. "Well, let me get that report signed, and then we can get my things … and … and go."

"Do you want some help?" Charlie asked. He knew she was probably going to say no and want to do it herself to appear strong, but he had to ask anyway.

Kelly stared past Charlie's shoulder, thinking for a few seconds, then looked back at Charlie; she smiled. "I'd really appreciate that," she said softly.

Charlie smiled and kissed her softly before removing his arms and standing up straight. "I'll go see if I can find a box," he said.

"I already have one," Kelly said, reaching down and picking up the small box beside her feet; she handed it to Charlie. "Here." Charlie took the box and carefully gathered Kelly's things while the young woman finished her report. When they both finished, Charlie held the box with Kelly's things, and he watched as Kelly put down her pen and grabbed her purse; she slung it over her shoulder. She held her report in one hand, and her coffee in the other hand, then turned to face Charlie. "I'm ready."

Charlie nodded and followed her out of the cubicle. Paul was already waiting for the two, and Kelly headed for Don's desk, where he was talking with David, Megan, and Colby. The four agents looked over as Kelly approached, while Charlie and Paul hung back a little.

"Hey," Kelly said, handing her report to Don. "Here's the report."

"Thanks," Don replied, taking the report; he saw Kelly's expression, and he stood up. "So, I guess that's it?"

"Yeah," Kelly said, nodded, biting her lower lip.

"Well, uh," Don replied slowly, "I, uh … I guess I'll see you tonight at dinner."

Kelly nodded. "Yeah," she said. She smiled at the four agents, forcing herself not to cry. "Thanks again for lettin' me work here; I learned a lot."

"Like not to run into buildings with bombers?" Megan asked, smiling.

Kelly chuckled, nodding. "Yeah, especially that," she replied. She felt a tear fall down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away. "Oh, man, sorry."

David leaned over and held out a tissue. "Hey," he said softly. Kelly looked up and saw the offered tissue; she took it, smiling.

"Thanks," she said, dabbing her eyes. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Thank ya fer the Psi figurine; I really like it – and it is definitely gonna go in my office." She smiled and took in another deep breath. "Well, uh … I guess that's it. Thank y'all for everythin'."

"No, thank you, Kelly," Don replied. "You were a big help to us, and we appreciate everything you've done."

Kelly arched an eyebrow. "'Everything?'" she asked.

"Well, okay, not quite every thing," Don said, "but I trust that particular lesson is seated firmly now?" Charlie groaned, and Don glanced at his brother, hiding a smile, before he looked back at Kelly. "So, uh … you gonna go home now?"

"Actually, I'm treating her to lunch," Charlie replied. "We're going to Benihana's."

"You sure that's a good idea, bro?" Don asked, smiling. "Open flames, lots of sharp objects … you and Kelly."

Charlie gave him a look. "Ha, ha, funny," he said. "You ready, Kelly?"

"Yeah," Kelly replied. She smiled at the four agents. "Thanks again, guys. I'll see ya later."

"Count on it," Megan said, smiling.

Kelly nodded and waved before she headed for the elevators with Charlie and Paul. She pressed the down button, and the trio waited a few seconds before one of the doors opened. They got on and Kelly pressed the button for the garage level; the doors closed, and the elevator started down.

Charlie stood next to Kelly, holding her box, and he glanced over at her; he could see her staring straight ahead, her smile gone, and her eyes bright with tears. The mathematician turned and handed the box to Paul, then he faced Kelly, putting his hand on her shoulder, turning her to him. Kelly looked at him for a few seconds, then she wordlessly wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head against his shoulder as the tears started; Charlie held her close, rubbing her back, whispering to her softly.

- - - -

Later that evening, after dinner, Alan sat in a chair in the living room, peering through his glasses as he worked on a crossword puzzle; Don sat in the other chair, reading a report. Charlie lay on his back on the couch, his head tilted up as he held a modernized version of 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow' that had been left on his desk (with a note saying that Charlie bore an uncanny resemblance to Ichabod Crane) over his head, and Kelly lay on her stomach on Charlie, her head resting on his chest, watching CSI on the television. Paul sat nearby, watching the television as well, but keeping an eye on the crew.

Kelly grinned as she watched the bad guy getting caught. "Yes!" she screeched at the top of her lungs. The four men nearly jumped out of their skins, clutching the objects in their hands, their knuckles white; their hearts pounding in their chests, gasping for air, as they stared at the young woman. "Man, I love it when they catch the bad guy like that."

"Kelly, I swear you're going to be the death of me," Alan said, shooting her a look over his glasses.

"Sorry," Kelly said, smiling sheepishly. "I just love how they catch the bad guys."

"I don't get how you like watching that show," Charlie replied as he went back to reading. "It's so …."

Kelly shifted and looked up at him; she plucked the book from his hands, smiling. "So what?" she asked.

"So … much different than the shows you usually watch," Charlie quickly answered.

"Uh huh," Kelly replied, amused. "Ya think it's fake, admit it."

"I just don't find it that fascinating," Charlie said. "Now, can I have my book back?"

"Mmmmm, nope," Kelly smiled as she shifted and got to her feet, still holding the book.

"Hey, that's my book," Charlie said as he scrambled to his feet and chased after her. "Come back here!" Don, Alan, and Paul sighed and went back to their activities as Charlie chased Kelly through the living room and around the dining table, ignoring the shrieks and shouts. "Give it back!"

"No!" Kelly replied, grinning. She went one way, and Charlie pretended to fall for it, but then he shifted. Kelly didn't have time to dodge him as he caught her, his arms around her, forcing her arms to stay at her side, holding her close to him.

"Gotcha," Charlie said, smiling.

"So, what are ya gonna do with me?" Kelly asked, smiling back.

Charlie grinned, leaning closer, brushing his lips against hers. "This," he said. He let go of her, snatched his book from her hand, and bolted back into the living room, laughing.

Kelly gasped, looking shocked. "Ya … ya … evil man!" she said as Charlie headed for the couch. The young woman walked back into the room – and tackled Charlie. The two fell onto the couch, Charlie facedown and Kelly pinning him; Kelly didn't waste any time as she grabbed a pillow and began pummeling him with it.

"Hey, get off me!" Charlie shouted, smiling as he tried to get out from underneath her. "Dad, Don, help!"

"As I recall," Alan said, not looking up from his crossword, "you told everyone to stay out of yours and Kelly's affairs."

"Yeah," Don agreed, reading his report. "Besides, can't you handle Kelly on your own?"

Charlie scowled at his brother as someone knocked on the front door; Kelly continued pummeling Charlie. Don and Alan looked over as Paul got up and walked over to the door and opened it; Larry stood on the other side.

"Dr. Fleinhardt," Paul said, standing aside.

Larry nodded and walked in; Paul shut the door behind him before walking back over to his chair. "Yes, I was wondering if -" He stopped when he saw Kelly on top of Charlie on the couch, hitting him with a pillow. "What on earth?"

Kelly stopped and looked over; she smiled. "Hi, Larry," she said as she got off Charlie, putting the pillow aside.

"Larry," Charlie replied, smiling as he stood up, breathing hard, his clothes and hair mussed.

"You would think that after a month I'd be used to this," Larry said, "but it never ceases to amaze me when I see you acting … normal." Don and Alan smiled and went back to their activities.

"Thanks," Charlie replied, smiling. "I think. So, uh, what brings you by this time of night, Larry?"

"Well, I wanted to see how Kelly's last day at the FBI was," Larry replied.

"It went okay," Kelly answered. She looked at Charlie. "Charlie was really sweet; he came by and took me out to Benihana's." Charlie smiled and kissed her.

"You two went out on a date in public?" Larry asked.

"Yeah, and the place is still standing," Alan replied.

"And no one got arrested," Don added.

"And what are the odds of that?" Larry asked. His answer was a pillow to the face, care of Charlie. The physicist looked at his protégé in shock, but Charlie – and Kelly – grinned; Larry shook his head. "You're hopeless, you know that?"

"So, ya came over here just ta check on me?" Kelly asked.

"I also came by to see how you're doing, Charles," Larry added. Alan and Don looked up.

"And why would you need to see how Charlie's doing?" Alan asked. Everyone looked over at Charlie – as he made a slashing motion across his throat. Alan and Don put their stuff down, looking very interested.

"Nothing," Charlie replied quickly. He gave Larry a look, but Larry either didn't notice it – or didn't care.

"There were some rumors going around CalSci," Larry said.

"What kind of rumors?" Don asked.

"Rumors from the students that … that Charles and myself are … close," Larry slowly answered, looking embarrassed. Everyone looked at Charlie, whose cheeks were also bright red.

"And why would they be thinking that about my Charlie?" Alan asked as he reached for the remote and turned off the television. Charlie and Kelly sat down on the couch, and Charlie put an arm around her shoulders; Larry sat in the last empty chair.

"Well, because he's been living with a very attractive woman for the past five months," Larry replied. "and they don't think that … that anything's happened … between you two."

"Well, that's really none of their business, Larry," Kelly replied. "One way or the other."

"I know it isn't," Larry said.

Kelly turned to Charlie. "Is that why ya really came by today?" she asked, smiling a little.

"No," Charlie said quickly. Kelly raised an eyebrow. "Well … I mean … I did want to see you …."

"Why didn't ya say anythin'?" Kelly asked.

"Because I came by to see you," Charlie replied, "not to talk about my problems."

"Charlie," Kelly said, "datin' does involve communication … if ya have a problem, that's what I'm here for: ta listen and help."

"But I want to fix this on my own," Charlie replied. "I mean, no offense or anything, but I'd like to think I can solve some things in my life without having to run to my girlfriend."

"I'm not sayin' I want ta help ya solve everythin' in yer life," Kelly said, "nor do I expect ta do that … but I'd like to think I'm someone ya could talk ta about yer problems."

Charlie sighed. "Look, I'm sorry," he said, "but I just didn't want to burden you when you had other things to worry about."

"And I appreciate that," Kelly replied. She understood why Charlie hadn't told her, but she still felt hurt and angry. "However, for future reference, I would like ya ta be honest with me, okay?" Charlie nodded. "Now, what do ya plan on doin' about this?"

"Can I say something?" Don asked.

"Sure," Charlie replied.

"Does it really matter what other people think?" Don asked. "I mean, like Kelly said, your private life is no one's business." He shrugged. "Honestly, it wouldn't bother me."

"Oh, it would so bother you if someone said that you and … and Colby were … close," Charlie said.

"No," Don replied, shifting a little in his chair. "Because we know it wouldn't be true."

"But it'd still bother you," Charlie replied.

"It wouldn't bother me," Don said.

"I think it would bother ya, Don," Kelly said.

"And what makes you think it'd bother me?" Don asked.

"Because human bein's, by nature, are social creatures," Kelly replied.

"What does that have to do with it?" Don asked.

"Exactly what I said," Kelly answered. "Human bein's can't survive in isolation. It's like what John Donne said: 'no man is an island.' We're not crocodiles or sloths or most cats; we're dogs or wasps or lions." Everyone looked at her, confused; Kelly chuckled. "Sorry. All I'm sayin' is that we are not solitary creatures; we need other human contact ta survive – and a big part of that is social acceptance … even if the acceptance comes from somethin' that we clearly don't need acceptance from." She shrugged. "So, yeah, it's understandable that Charlie and Larry feel apprehensive about this … even if they shouldn't."

"Sounds like you've had some experience in this particular area," Alan said.

Kelly shrugged. "Behavioral science," she replied.

"So, anything like this happen to you?" Charlie asked. Kelly adverted her attention, and Charlie smiled a little. "Something did."

"I really don't wanna talk about it," Kelly said.

"Come on, Kelly," Charlie said, smiling. "I'm sure whatever happened isn't nearly as bad as what Larry and I are going through."

"I said I didn't wanna talk about it," Kelly snapped as she got to her feet, startling everyone with her outburst; the young woman headed for the stairs.

"Kelly, wait," Charlie said, standing up and going after her. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, no," Kelly said, turning around at the foot of the stairs. "We're not doin' this."

"Doing what?" Charlie asked, confused.

"This," Kelly said, motioning her hands between them. "Ya don't wanna talk about yer stuff with me, then why should I talk ta ya about mine?" She turned and headed up the stairs, leaving Charlie stunned silent as he watched her. After a few seconds, he slowly turned around.

"What was that about?" he asked.

"Sounds to me like Kelly has her own skeleton," Alan said. Everyone looked at Paul.

"What?" the agent asked. "I have no idea what's going on."

"Well, something's bothering her," Alan replied.

"I'm gonna go talk to her," Charlie said before heading up the stairs. He walked down the hall to Kelly's door, and he stopped when he heard the soft sobs coming from her room. He wanted to go in there and hold her and ask her to tell him what was bothering her, but he knew she wouldn't; he needed to know what he was up against, and if she wasn't going to tell him … Charlie had other ways. The mathematician forced himself to go to his room, and he shut the door behind him.

(End of Chapter 1)


	2. Chapter 2

- - - - 

Cooter woke to the sound of his phone ringing. The vice-president groaned softly as he reached for the lamp on his nightstand and turned it on; he blinked reflexively as light flooded his bedroom. After a few seconds he looked over at his clock and saw that it was after one in the morning; he sighed as he reached for his phone, answering it on the fifth ring. "Yeah?" he asked sleepily.

"Sir, there's a call for you from LA," the night operator replied.

"Is it my daughter?" Cooter asked.

"No, sir, it's Dr. Eppes," the operator answered.

Cooter frowned; he definitely hadn't expect Charlie to call him … especially in the middle of the night. "Uh," he said slowly, "put him through."

"Yes, sir," the operator replied. Cooter heard a few clicks, then –

"Hello?"

"Charlie?" Cooter asked.

"Uh, yes … yes, sir," Charlie replied, nervously. "It's me."

"What are ya doin' callin' me at this hour of the night, son?" Cooter asked. "Is everythin' okay with Kelly?"

"Actually, I'm not sure," Charlie answered slowly. "We kinda got into a little scuffle, and she … she blew up at me, and I don't know why. And she's not talking to me, and now she's crying in her room … and I don't know how to fix it."

"What happened, son?" Cooter asked, his tone becoming more fatherly.

"We were talking about rumors and how people deal with them," Charlie said. "And then I asked her if she'd ever to deal with that kind of stuff … and she got mad and wouldn't talk about it and left."

Cooter sighed as he sat up, leaning against the baseboard of his bed. "Charlie, there's a good reason why she reacted that way," he said.

"What happened?" Charlie asked. Cooter paused. "Sir?"

"Normally," Cooter said, "I wouldn't be stickin' my nose inta this, but I know Kelly won't talk about it … and if it's still botherin' her after all these years, then … I think ya should know."

- - - -

Kelly lay on her bed, curled on her side, tear streaks on her face, holding Jeffery close to her as she stared at the far wall; she hadn't even changed out of her clothes. She heard a soft knock on her door, but she didn't answer; the door opened, and Charlie poked his head in.

"Kelly?" he asked.

"I don't wanna talk ta ya," Kelly said.

"Yeah, well, tough," Charlie replied as he came in and shut the door behind him. "I'm not leaving until we talk about this." He walked over to her desk and sat down in the chair, watching her for a few seconds before he sighed. "Kelly, I -"

"Why do ya wanna talk about this?" Kelly asked.

"Because that's what I'm here for," Charlie answered. "To listen and help."

"Well, no offense or anythin'," Kelly replied, "but I'd like ta think I can solve some things in my life without havin' ta run to my boyfriend."

Charlie smiled a little. He knew what she was doing, and he decided to meet her challenge. "But I'd like to think I'm someone you could talk to," he replied. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Look, I talked to your father -"

"Ya talked ta my father?!" Kelly asked, sitting up and glaring at him. "What gives ya the right ta pry into my life like that, Charlie?"

"Because you weren't talking about this!" Charlie replied loudly.

"Because ya have no idea what I went through!" Kelly shouted. "Ya can't possibly understand what I went through!"

"Actually, I do!" Charlie retorted. "I know what it's like to be targeted and humiliated!" He stared at her angrily, then he sighed, lowering his voice, his expression softening; he hadn't meant to lose his temper with her. "His, uh … his name was Marshall Penfield; we attended Princeton together."

"Ya were thirteen when ya went ta Princeton," Kelly said.

"Yeah, and he was fifteen," Charlie replied. "He was pretty smart, too … and he stole one of my kegs."

Kelly tilted her head. "What happened?" she asked.

"He got caught and was almost expelled … and he never let me forget it," Charlie replied. "He slammed me and my work every chance he got … and then when I finished my convergence theory … he tried to find a way to debunk it; he even came to my first seminar wearing a button that read 'Don't Believe the Hype.'" Even in the dark, he could see her smile a little; he was a little affronted by that, but if it was making her feel better … he'd shut up.

"Did he ever find anythin'?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah," Charlie replied. "He called it a blood clot that stroked my entire equation," he smiled, "but I made him look an a by fixing it."

"So, it all worked out in the end, huh?" Kelly asked.

"Well, we're not best buds," Charlie replied, "but we did work through it."

"Yeah, well, this Penfield guy didn't try ta steal yer research, nearly get ya expelled, and almost ruin the career of the one man who … who is ta me what Larry is ta ya," Kelly said.

"Yeah," Charlie said. "Your father told me about what happened with Adam Greene, Matt Nelson, and you."

"Yeah," Kelly said. "Matt's been my advisor and mentor since I was thirteen. He's helped me so much since I started college, and Adam almost destroyed his career because I wouldn't give him the time of day." She took a ragged breath. "Four years, Charlie … it's taken four years ta get to a point where people aren't lookin' at me, wonderin' if the rumors Adam spread about Matt and me were true, even though I know some of them still think it … just like practically everyone thinks I got ta where I am because my father gave me a free ride."

Charlie got up and walked over to the bed, sitting beside her; he put an arm around her. "Not everyone," he said. Kelly looked over at him, smiling a little. Charlie sighed. "I know you probably already know this, Kelly, but being targeted is one of the prices of notoriety … unfortunately."

Kelly nodded. "Yeah … I know that all too well."

Charlie knew what it was like to be targeted because of his status … he could only imagine what it must have been like for Kelly; she had to deal with both her status as a politician's daughter and being a genius. "You know … there're always going to be people out there who hate us because … because we're … a little 'out there.'"

"Some of us more than others," Kelly replied wryly, glancing over at Charlie.

"This from the woman who thinks it's cool when a cobra pops out of a dead guy's stomach," Charlie said, smiling back. He was relieved when Kelly chuckled, then he took a deep breath. "So, you okay?"

Kelly nodded. "I'm sorry about yellin' at ya earlier; I know ya were just tryin' ta help." She rubbed her face. "It just seems like it wouldn't have happened if I had been a guy. That's always been somethin' I've had ta deal with … either me being a pretty girl who can't possibly be smart, even long before I changed my hair color … or that I'm from the South, so there's no way I can be smart."

"You know, I had similar problems when I was growing up," Charlie replied. "I was accused of being a charmer."

"Well, they were right," Kelly said. "Ya are a charmer." She smiled slightly as she leaned over and kissed him softly; she then nuzzled against him, resting her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes. "Thank ya."

Charlie simply smiled as he wrapped his arms around her and carefully lay back, his head resting against one of her pillows. He stared up at the ceiling as he felt Kelly drifting off; he waited about thirty minutes before glancing down at her. She had her head resting against him, her arm across his chest, and Jeffery clutched loosely in her hand, starting to slip. Charlie carefully took the stuffed giraffe and put it on her nightstand, then he kissed her forehead before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

Hours later the bedroom door slowly opened, and Alan poked his head in. He saw Charlie asleep on Kelly's bed, holding Kelly in his arms as she lay next to him, her head resting on his chest. The elder man smiled as he walked over and grabbed the blanket that was bunched at the foot of the bed; he carefully covered the two with it. Alan leaned over and brushed some hair away from Kelly's face, then gently put his hand on Charlie's head.

"Sleep well, you two," he said before leaving the room and softly closing the door behind him.

- - - -

The next morning Charlie opened his eyes and blinked reflexively at the bright light streaming through the window. He glanced down and saw that Kelly wasn't next to him; he looked around, seeing that she wasn't even in the room. The mathematician glanced over at the nightstand, and his eyes widened when he saw the time: it was after nine. Charlie bolted from the bed and hurried from the room to get showered and ready for the day in record time.

Dressed in a red t-shirt, black jeans, and black Converse All-Stars, Charlie hurried down the stairs, his schoolbag slung from one shoulder, a black suit coat over the other. He all but sprinted into the dining room – and he stopped short when he saw Alan, Kelly, and Paul sitting at the table, eating breakfast and talking; all three of them were dressed for the day, Alan and Paul in their usual outfits, and Kelly in a pair of sweat pants, a loose-fitting t-shirt, and sneakers. Alan glanced up and smiled at his son.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Alan said. Paul and Kelly looked over, and Kelly grinned.

"Mornin'," Kelly said.

"It's after nine," Charlie replied.

"Good to know you can still tell time, Charlie," Alan replied wryly. He held up a plate of fresh fruit. "Hungry?"

"I'm running late," Charlie replied, but he grabbed a slice of cantaloupe and started nibbling it; he glanced at Kelly. "How long have you been up?"

"About an hour," Kelly answered. She held up a cup of coffee. "Coffee? Just the way ya like it."

"Why didn't you wake me?" Charlie asked as he polished off the cantaloupe and took the offered cup; he sipped it carefully.

"Because ya look so cute when yer sleepin'," Kelly replied, grinning.

Charlie smiled, shuffling his feet, then he stopped and shook his head. "I have a lecture in an hour, Kelly," he said, trying to look upset. "Why didn't your alarm go off?"

"Because I get ta sleep in now," Kelly replied. "I'm done workin'."

"But I'm not," Charlie said.

"Well, it's not my fault ya fell asleep in my room," Kelly replied. "That's on ya."

Charlie gave her a look before he put the cup down. "I gotta go," he said, heading out of the dining room. "Bye, guys; I'll see you later."

"Aren't ya fergettin' somethin'?" Kelly called out after him, smiling.

Charlie stopped in the living room, thinking – then it hit him. He quickly turned around and scurried back into the dining room. "Sorry," he said apologetically as he approached her and leaned over; Kelly grinned and tilted her head up – and Charlie reached past her for another piece of cantaloupe; he nibbled it as he headed out of the room.

Kelly sat there, watching him, her mouth open. "Of all the -" She was interrupted as Charlie came back in, grinning. He walked over to her, leaned down, and kissed her.

"Have a good day," he said before leaving again; a few seconds later they heard the front door open and close.

Kelly sat there, stunned, then she heard chuckling, and she turned and saw Alan grinning as he ate. "Yer son is evil," she said. Alan simply shrugged and continued eating; Kelly watched him for a few seconds before she smiled and went back to her breakfast.

"So, what's on your agenda today?" Alan asked.

Kelly shrugged. "Not sure," she said. "I really don't have that much planned. Read a book, maybe … or start packin' …." She moved some fruit around with her fork and sighed.

"Maybe we can go catch a movie later," Alan suggested.

"Maybe," Kelly replied. "You think Charlie's gonna be okay?"

"Oh, yeah, he'll make his lecture, don't worry," Alan answered.

"No, I mean the rumor thing," Kelly said. "I just … I kinda wish I could find the person who started that thing and …." She raised a fist for a moment before lowering it. "Sorry."

"Believe me, I know how you feel," Alan said. "I'd love to find the person who started that rumor about Charlie and teach that little snot-nosed skink about messing with my son." He saw Kelly raise an eyebrow. "Oh, don't give me that look, sweetie. You're not the only one who knows a few …." He trailed off as he tilted his head, smiling at her.

Kelly furrowed her eyebrows. "Why are ya lookin' at me like that?" she asked slowly.

"Because I think I know a way we can kill two birds with one stone," Alan said conspiratorially.

(End of Chapter 2)


	3. Chapter 3

- - - - 

Charlie had put on his suit coat when he'd arrived at CalSci hours ago, and he stood at the front of his lecture hall, staring at the chalkboard at the equation he'd just finished writing. He wasn't contemplating the problem or his lecture for the day, the zero-sum and non zero-sum games of game theory. No, he was actually using a talent he had mastered a long time ago: listening in on people - his students, his colleagues, to name a few - and their conversations when they thought he was oblivious to everything … everything except his chalkboard; it was a quick and easy way to get vital information.

Unfortunately, the information he was hearing from his students was not pleasant. The whispering, the giggling … he knew they were talking about him and Larry … how they could have met, etc. … it was almost too much for the mathematician to take. These people seemed to think that Charlie and Larry had had a relationship soon after they met, when Charlie was still a minor - effectively making Larry a statutory rapist; Charlie clenched his fist, nearly breaking the chalk in his hand, ready to turn around and yell at them, but he forced himself to calm down and not do anything. After a few more seconds of listening he turned around, smiling as if he was oblivious to everything.

"Now, as you can see by this equation here," he said, pointing to the board, his voice amplified by the microphone clipped to his shirt, "this is a zero-sum set; the benefit of one party will only occur at the expense of another party."

"And if it was a non zero-sum game," one of his female students said, "then there wouldn't be any expense incurred by any of the parties involved, right?"

"Not necessarily," Charlie replied. He turned back to the board, writing out another equation. "In a non-zero-sum game, including the famous prisoner's dilemma game, which I personally got to execute earlier this year on an FBI case, the net results are greater or less than zero, depending on the circumstances involved." He finished his equation and turned back to his class. "In the prisoner's dilemma -" He turned when he heard the side door opening – and he stopped short, raising his eyebrows.

Kelly walked in, dressed in a form-fitting blue skirt suit with tiny white pinstripes and matching blue; the skirt part of the suit stopped just above her knees, showing her slender legs. Her hair was done up in a French twist, her makeup was conservative, and she wore simple gold hoop earrings and her locket; a small pencil was tucked behind her left ear. She carried a plain manila folder in her left hand and a pencil in her right hand, and she looked nervous as she reached the bottom and walked over to Charlie.

"Hi," she said nervously.

"Uh … hi," Charlie replied slowly; he tilted his head, confused by her appearance … and her outfit. He glanced at his students, and he could see they were just as surprised as he was. He knew they knew who Kelly was, but this was the first time she had been to one of his lectures; he looked back at his girlfriend. "Uh … what are you doing here?"

"Sorry ta barge in like this," Kelly said, her voice quiet and a little fluttery, "and I know I'm not really workin' this anymore," she held out the manila folder to him, "but I got those hard copies for yer current case. The new data strings allow fer the adjusted stats from the last three cases where ya helped put away serial killers."

Charlie furrowed his eyebrows. It wasn't like Kelly to be so … odd around him, but he took the folder; he needed the information. "Thanks," he said slowly.

Kelly smiled and started toward the other end of the staging area; she took three steps before she stopped and turned, looking apologetic to be taking up more of his class time. "Oh, wait," she said. "I almost fergot, there was just this one other little thing ..."

"Um...okay...what?" Charlie asked slowly.

Kelly walked back to Charlie, stepping into his personal space. Her chest an inch from Charlie's, Kelly used her last step to rise onto the toes of one foot, lifting the other foot behind her; she gently grabbed his shirt with both hands and captured his lips with hers. For about thirty seconds Charlie just stood there, wide eyed, hands out, totally off guard … but not resisting.

Kelly finally pulled back, smiling at his shell-shocked expression, keeping her eyes locked with his. "Thanks again for last night," she said softly. She turned and walked across the tile staging area, heading back toward the door.

Charlie watched her walk away from him, stunned by what she'd just done; it took him a couple of seconds to remember that he needed to breathe. He took a few breaths to clear his head, and then suddenly realized two things: one, he could hear a pin drop in his usually buzzing lecture hall, and two, he had been cheated - cheated out of fully enjoying Kelly's kiss.

Professor Eppes did not tolerate cheating in his classroom.

Kelly could see the shell-shocked expressions of Charlie's students as she headed for the exit, and she wondered if some of them had lost ten years of their life; it was all she could do to keep from laughing. She had reached the door and grabbed the knob, pulling back – but the door wouldn't budge. She glanced up to see what was causing the resistance, and she saw a familiar hand planted flat against the door.

The young woman looked up at the hand for a moment, blinking, then she slowly turned around and brought her eyes to Charlie's face. The first thought that came to mind was that he had crossed the room - and she hadn't even realize it; the second thing she noticed was his expression. Kelly couldn't read it, but she could see that his eyes had darkened. She figured he was mad at her, either about the kiss or the interruption, that he was probably one of those teachers who got all knottyboxered about interruptions in his class.

Charlie took his hand off the door and straightened. "I don't remember dismissing you," he said. He saw Kelly's eyebrows go up, but Charlie didn't pay them much attention as he caught her by her upper arms and moved her away from the door.

Kelly was clearly confused. "Wh-what …?"

"I believe we have a lesson to learn," Charlie replied.

"Which one?" Kelly asked, her voice a little hoarse with nerves.

"The one about cheating," Charlie answered. "Right under the professor's nose." In one swift motion, he removed his hands from her arms, slid his around hers, with one supporting her middle and lower back and one laying up her spine so he could support the back of her head. Before Kelly could even react to what he was doing, Charlie dipped her to a little below hip level and kissed her.

At first, Kelly reacted instinctively as she felt her center of gravity change. She had reflexively let out a yelp of surprise, but that had been immediately muffled as Charlie kissed her. Her hands and arms flailed a little, trying to grab something for support, and she felt Charlie's hand supporting her head, his fingers loosening her twist. Strangely, however, all of that was quickly pushed aside as she found herself getting fuzzy-headed.

Charlie felt Kelly's hand settle after a few seconds – one on his chest and the other on his shoulder – but he still held her in that position for a little less than a minute, taking his time to enjoy the taste of her on his lips that she had tried to deny him. When he finally pulled away, he blinked at her with a kind of wonder for a couple more seconds before standing her up; he kept his hold on her as he realized her legs were Jello. Kelly looked a little glowy, a little starstruck, but Charlie just supported her silently.

It only took a couple of moments for Kelly's leg to support her once again, and that was when she noticed Charlie had the door open; she looked at him inquiringly, but all he did was nod toward the door, signaling that she was free to leave. She stepped out, but her curiosity got the better of her, and she turned back. "What was that?" she asked.

"Like I said," Charlie replied, "a lesson on cheating … and on basic math." He saw her baffled expression, and he raised his eyebrows, smirking. "Basic math: balancing the equation. Whatever you do to one side of the equation ..." Still smiling, he closed the door, took a deep breath and let it out, then he turned on his heel and went back to conducting class. He knew he was smiling, almost smugly, his coat rumpled, but he acted like nothing remarkable happened as concerned his students.

The class had been restless and generally disinterested before Kelly's arrival--there had been enough chatter and texting to start to annoy Charlie, which wasn't the easiest thing to do when he was teaching math--but now the students were remarkably quiet, their eyes on him. Pretending not to notice the change, Charlie went to the board to continue his point. His hand flew across the chalkboard as he found new analogies to explain the current process. His students might or might not be getting what he was teaching, but he as sure that he had their attention now.

It was amazing, what a little... unquantified heat could do for a person's focus.

(End of Chapter 3)


	4. Chapter 4

- - - - 

Kelly sat in the passenger seat of her car, leaning back and smiling as she stared at nothing in particular, her hair mussed and her lipstick smeared. She was still processing what had happened after she had interrupted Charlie's lecture … what Charlie had done to her; she sighed as she stared out the passenger window.

Paul glanced over as he drove down the street, eyebrow raised. He had been waiting just outside the lecture hall, and when he had seen Kelly coming out after dropping off her file, her stunned expression, disheveled hair, and smudged lipstick … well, it didn't take a highly-trained law enforcement officer to noticed that something had happened. Now, while his conclusion was tame, knowing there hadn't been enough time for … anything to have happened (especially in a room full of Charlie's students), it still made the Secret Service agent curious as to what exactly had happened in there.

Paul's phone suddenly rang, and he breathed a sigh of relief as he reached for it, answering it on the third ring. "Holden," he said. He listened, furrowing his eyebrows. "Yeah … okay … uh huh … understood." He hung up, putting his phone away; he turned to Kelly. "Kelly?" Nothing; he nudged her. "Kelly?" He shook her harder, raising her voice. "Earth to Kelly!" Kelly slowly looked over at Paul. "Welcome back."

"Wha …?" Kelly asked slowly.

"That was Headquarters," Paul replied. "Remember what they've been working on for the past month?" Kelly nodded. "They were calling to let us know that they just approved the next part."

Kelly's eyes widened. "All of it?" she asked, forgetting about Charlie for the moment.

"All of it," Paul replied.

"Even with … ?"

Paul nodded. "Yeah," he said. "He approved, even got him to fax the papers over this morning." Kelly whistled softly. "Murphy and Trisha are getting everything set up as we speak … but we're going to have to go today." He sighed. "You don't have to do this, you know."

Kelly shook her head. "No, ya need me, and I wanna help …." She took a deep breath. "Let's do it." Paul gave her a proud smile before focusing back on his driving.

- - - -

Don walked down the corridor of the math building, whistling 'Secret Agent Man.' He dodged students as they went about their business, not really worried about them, but something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned and saw a large group of students gathered off to one side of the hall, staring at something on the wall; more students were gathering around the cluster. He had business with Charlie, but his curiosity got the better of him; he walked over to the group, craning his neck, trying to get a look at … at whatever it was they were looking at. He finally saw the object of interest: a flyer with the words 'I Want to Believe,' and … and a very grainy photo.

Don pushed through the crowd and grabbed the flyer from the wall, holding it in his hands and staring at the photo below the words. It was a photo--his experience told him it must have been taken with a camera phone--of a guy dipping a woman backward and kissing her – deeply. Don raised an eyebrow as he glanced at the growing crowd of students, trying to figure out what the big deal was.

The agent stared at the photo, wanting to know what it was that had the students whispering and giggling. He tilted his head, noticing how bad the angle of the photo was; he could have sworn that the girl looked just like Kelly – then he paused. He squinted at the photo … then his eyes slowly widened. Wait a minute, he thought. Was that--? No, it couldn't be... no way... that wasn't...

"Charlie?!" Don asked. He looked around at the students, but they scattered before he could ask them anything. The agent then he caught sight of Larry walking down the hall, and Don hurried over to him. "Hey, Larry."

"Oh, hey, Don," Larry replied as the two walked down the hall together, heading for Charlie's office.

"Hey, uh, Larry, do you know what this is all about?" Don asked, handing over the flyer.

Larry studied it, then nodded. "Well, that certainly explains a lot," he said.

"What?" Don asked.

"Well, a few minutes ago," Larry answered, "a couple of my students came rushing in, looking positively excited, and for a moment I had hoped that they had discovered a new theory to explain the Sustentation of Matter, but instead they apologized to me for thinking that Charles and I were … a couple."

Don tilted his head, nodding. "Yeah, I can see why they'd do that," he said slowly, "but, uh … what happened?"

"I was on my way to find that out, actually," Larry replied. The two headed down the hall until they came to Charlie's office; they walked inside and stopped near the door when they saw Charlie at one of his boards, scribbling some equations with a piece of chalk. "Charles?" Nothing.

"Great, he's in his own world again," Don said. He glanced at the flyer. "You know, it never will cease to amaze me that Charlie is acting like … like …."

"Like a man who's completely smitten with the girl he's dating?" Larry suggested.

"No, man, he's beyond that," Don said. "He's, uh … oh, what did they call it in Bambi?"

"Your brother and Kelly are being shown kissing on a flyer, a flyer that's being displayed all over CalSci," Larry said, "and you're worried about something mentioned in a Disney movie?"

Charlie grinned as he listened to the two men, knowing they had no clue that he was eavesdropping on them. _Twitterpated_, he thought, mustering all his strength to not laugh at how ridiculous it sounded. He was not twitterpated; he had simply balanced an equation … an equation that Kelly had started. After a few seconds he put down his chalk and turned around, pretending to be startled to see his brother and colleague.

"Oh, hey, you two," Charlie said. "What's up?"

"Oh, not much," Don replied as he and Larry walked over. He held up the flyer. "I see you're getting your Vogue on, bro."

"She started it," Charlie said simply, shrugging, as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Well, you'll be happy to know that this flyer has effectively halted the rumors about the two of us," Larry replied. "But I'm sure that was the intent."

Charlie hid a smile as he rummaged around on his desk. "Can I help you with something?" he asked calmly.

"Actually, yeah," Don answered. "Remember that case we've been working on for the past month?"

"The fraud case?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah," Don replied. "We got a new lead: the guy we've been following has been spending a lot of time hanging out at a street racing circuit south of Downtown; we think that's where the operation's taking place."

"What do you need me to do?" Charlie asked. "Run some numbers?"

"Actually, no," Don replied. "I just wanted to let you know I'm going undercover to get more info."

Charlie looked up, worried. "You're going undercover?" he asked.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, bro," Don answered.

"Are you sure you don't want me to run some numbers or something?" Charlie asked as he walked over to a blank chalkboard. "Because I could get some statistics and equations drawn up really quickly so you could be better prepared." Don and Larry glanced at each other as Charlie began scribbling.

"Charlie, I said you didn't need to do anything," Don replied. "We've got this under control."

"But street racing involves variables that can be quantified into mathematical equations," Charlie replied, "and the more prepared you are, the safer you'll be."

Don pursed his lips, knowing that his baby brother was just worried about him and that was why he was not listening to Don, so the agent had to remind himself not to get angry with him or yell at him, but he was also very protective of any case where he didn't need Charlie's help; he sighed as he walked over to Charlie. "Look, Charlie," he said, "I know you're worried about me, and I appreciate that, but I'll be fine; I'll have David with me, and we're just going there to get info." He waited for Charlie to stop writing and put the chalk down and turn to him. "You going to be okay?"

"If it's dealing with cars, you should talk to Kelly," Charlie said quietly as she walked over to his desk and sat down. "She knows about cars … and she's done a lot of racing."

"I know, Charlie, but A) she doesn't work for the FBI anymore … she's not even a consultant," Don replied, trying not to sound annoyed, "B) do you know what would happen to me if I asked Kelly to go undercover? Not only would I probably get fired, but her father would personally hand my a-- to me on a platter, along with everyone in the Secret Service and Dad. And C) give me some credit, Charlie, I happen to know a few things about cars myself."

Charlie chuckled a little. "Sorry, man," he said, "I didn't mean it like that … and I wasn't saying put her undercover …." He cleared his throat. "So, uh … have you told Dad?"

"I'll let him know, don't worry," Don said before patting Charlie's shoulder and leaving.

"So, what are you going to do?" Larry asked.

"Not much I can do," Charlie replied as he gathered his things. "Uh … I'm going to go home and talk to Dad; make sure he knows about Don."

"You don't think Don will?" Larry asked.

"Oh, he'll tell him," Charlie replied, "but after the whole thing's over with." He shrugged. "Dad likes knowing where Don is; he worries about him."

"And what about the flyer, Charles?" Larry asked. "Of you and Kelly …." He waved his hands.

Charlie smiled. "You know, for someone who seemed so agitated about certain rumors that were flying around yesterday," he said, "you don't seem too happy to know that those rumors have been quelled."

"Oh, believe me, I am," Larry replied. "It's just that this has all the makings of Evariste Galois and Stephanie." Charlie snorted. "The circumstances are very similar, Charles: an extremely bright mathematician suddenly starts diverting his passion towards a young woman."

"Well, Larry, as I recall," Charlie replied, "Stephanie didn't care too much for Galois' advances," he smiled, "and I don't really have that problem with Kelly."

"I think the entire campus knows that by now," Larry replied wryly. "I'm just saying to be careful. You don't want one of those flyers ending up on the six o'clock news."

"Larry, believe me, I'm okay with it," Charlie said. "I've been dealing with this stuff for the past five months … and I'm prepared to deal with it when Kelly and I move to DC." He smiled at his friend. "I'll see you later." He left his office, and Larry shook his head, smiling. He worried about his friend, but it was comforting to see Charlie happy for a change … and Larry was glad that both he and Charlie were no longer targets of overactive imaginations.

- - - -

Charlie approached his house on his bike, his bag slung across his shoulder, and he furrowed his eyebrows when he saw the dark van in the driveway, along with a classic red Dodge Challenger. The mathematician stopped his bike near the curb and walked it up to the porch, keeping his eye on the van; he headed up the steps and leaned the bike against the rail before walking in the front door.

"Dad?" he called out.

"Right here, Charlie," Alan said from his chair, looking up from the book he was reading; he smiled. "I heard you had a pretty interesting time in class today."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. How did he know? "What are you talking about?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

"Oh, nothing in particular," Alan replied, smiling. "A little bird just told me that a certain mathematician and his girlfriend were locking lips during said mathematician's lecture."

Charlie folded his arms, smiling a little. "I'm guessing that little bird was Kelly." Alan shrugged, grinning, going back to his book. "Why do I have a feeling you had something to do with the whole thing?"

"Now, are you implying that I want to be involved in my son's life so badly that I'd suggest his girlfriend get all dolled up and come down to his lecture to show everyone that he's just as much of a man as anyone else?" Alan asked.

"Yes," Charlie replied.

"Then you're growing wise in your old age," Alan said, smiling.

"Not as old as you," Charlie retorted playfully. He nodded at the front door. "So, uh, whose van is out there?"

"The US Government's." Alan and Charlie looked over as Paul came down the stairs. He had changed into a pair of dirty brown boots, faded jeans with rips in the knees, and a white undershirt with a plaid over-shirt that was missing its sleeves; the agent's hair was tousled. Charlie looked positively shocked at the agent's appearance.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Charlie asked.

"Because I'm going undercover," Paul said, fiddling with a wire and earpiece; he sighed, frustrated. "Why in the h--- is it so hard to put this thing on?"

"Whoa, you're going undercover?" Charlie asked, feeling a sense of déjà vu.

"Yeah," Paul replied as he affixed his wire and earpiece to where neither was showing. "Secret Service's been following a counterfeiting case for over month, and we just got a new lead; they're sending me in to gather more information."

"Huh," Charlie replied, pursing his lips, contemplating that. "So, uh … if you're going undercover, then who's going to keep an eye on Kelly?"

"I'm still gonna keep an eye on her," Paul replied. Charlie furrowed his eyebrows, confused, as he started to sit in one of the chairs.

"Paul, this wire's too big!"

Everyone looked toward the voice as a woman with short red hair came down the stairs. She wore a very tight Confederate flag v-neck halter top, a pair of royal blue jean short shorts with orange, red, and yellow flames on the sides and back, and a pair of white cowboy boots; a tattoo of a blue rose with green leaves ringed her navel. Charlie's eyes bugged out, and he completely missed the chair, tumbling to the floor. The woman smiled as she walked over to the mathematician, looking down at him, her blue eyes dancing.

"Well, I think if I can get that kind of reaction from ya," she said, her voice laced with a thick Southern accent, "then I'm sure I'll have no problems with the others."

Charlie's eyes traveled down, checking her out, then he quickly looked back up – and he suddenly tilted his head. "K-K-Kelly?" he asked, his voice squeaking.

Kelly smiled. "Hi, Charlie," she said. She offered him a hand, and waited for him to take it; she helped him to his feet, still smiling at his flustered expression.

"Wha … wha … why …?" Charlie asked. Kelly chuckled. "Why did you … your hair is short … and red."

"It's a wig," Kelly replied.

"Your eyes," Charlie said.

"Contacts," Kelly answered. "Well, one anyway."

"Tattoo?" Charlie asked, glancing at her belly button.

"Temporary," Kelly replied. "Painted it myself." She grinned as she turned around. "Ya like?"

Charlie's shock finally wore off, and he slowly smiled, chuckling. "Oh, yeah," he said slowly. "I really like. Is, uh … is this because of this morning?"

Kelly chuckled. "Actually, no," she said. "I'm still thinkin' of what ta do ta ya fer what ya did this mornin'."

"Actually, you don't get to do anything to me," Charlie replied. "You cheated me this morning; I was just paying you back." He suddenly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. "However, if you want to leave this stuff on, I'm sure we could come up with -"

"Okay, I'm going to jump in before this gets past the PG-rating," Alan replied, putting his book aside and getting up from his chair. "Kelly, I think you should tell him why you and Paul look the way you do before my son entertains any more … thoughts."

Charlie looked at Kelly, confused. "What's he talking about?" he asked.

Kelly's smile faded, and she took in a deep breath. "Charlie, I'm goin' undercover," she said. "With Paul."

"What?" Charlie asked. "You mean, with this counterfeiting case?" Kelly nodded. "No, you're not; it's dangerous." He frowned at Paul. "Have you lost it?"

"Charlie, it's okay," Kelly reassured him.

"How is it okay?" Charlie asked. "Undercover work is dangerous. You could get hurt."

"No, she won't," Paul said. "We've checked the place out; there is no risk for Kelly being there. Besides, I'm not gonna leave her side; I promise."

"But what if someone recognizes her?" Charlie asked.

"That's why I'm wearin' this outfit," Kelly replied. "No one's really gonna be lookin' at my face when I'm dressed like this."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Charlie said wryly. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced down at Kelly's outfit. "So, uh where are you going undercover dressed … dressed like that?"

"A street racin' circuit south of Downtown," Kelly answered. "They think it's a front for the counterfeitin'."

Charlie tilted his head. "A street racing circuit?" he asked. A smile played on his lips. "Really?"

"Yeah, that's why I'm goin' under," Kelly replied. "They need someone who knows cars and racin'." Charlie suddenly snickered. "What?"

"Nothing," Charlie replied, heading for the kitchen, trying not to laugh.

Kelly rolled her eyes and turned to Paul, holding up her mini wire and earpiece. "I need to find a place to put my wire."

"I'll help," Charlie replied as he quickly came back into the living room.

"How about you take a cold shower instead?" Alan suggested.

"Not enough time," Paul said as he helped find a place for Kelly to wear her wire unseen.

Charlie watched the two, his worry for his girlfriend evident. "Hey, I was wondering if I could come along." Everyone looked over at him.

"Out of the question," Paul replied. "No civilians allowed."

"And what is Kelly?" Charlie asked, frowning as he crossed his arms; he knew what he was about to say was stupid, but he couldn't stop himself. "I'm sure her father would be happy to know that his daughter is going undercover and doing something dangerous."

Paul frowned and walked over to Charlie, grabbing the mathematician by his arm and dragging him to the kitchen, when he let him go; the agent glared down at Charlie. "You listen to me," he said, his voice low. "First of all, her father does know what she's doing, and he gave his approval. Second of all, I don't care who you are. Don't you ever threaten me like that again. Do I make myself clear?"

"I just don't think it's a good idea putting her undercover," Charlie replied, feeling nervous by Paul's reaction, but hiding it beneath a façade of anger and worry. "It's dangerous, and something could happen to her."

"You don't think I know that?" Paul asked. "We are taking every precaution we can to keep her safe, Charlie." He wanted to smack the mathematician, but he couldn't argue with Charlie's worry; he did understand it. He looked away, taking a deep breath and thinking; after a few seconds he looked back at Charlie. "Look, normally we wouldn't allow this, but if I let you come along to observe, would that make you feel better? You'll have to stay in the van with Trisha and Murphy."

"I can live with that," Charlie replied.

"Okay," Paul said. "We'll leave as soon as Kelly's wired." The two headed back into the living room and saw Kelly still fiddling with her wire.

"Everything okay?" Alan asked, a little worried as he glanced between Paul and Charlie.

"Yeah," Paul replied. "Charlie's going to come with us."

"What?" Kelly asked, looking up, eyes blazing. "What fer?"

"Because I'm worried about you," Charlie replied. "I want to make sure you're okay." He gave his best smile, hoping that would calm Kelly's anger, but all it did was fuel it.

"No," Kelly replied. "Out of the question." She looked at Paul. "Ya said it was just gonna be us, Paul. And now, just because Charlie whines, yer lettin' him tag along?"

"Hey, I didn't whine," Charlie said, frowning. "I stated my concern for you going undercover. I'm your boyfriend, it's my job to worry about you."

"Doesn't mean ya have ta constantly shadow me," Kelly replied. "I am a big girl, Charlie. I can take care of myself." She looked at Paul. "I'm goin' ta the van ta check my wire." She stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her.

"Maybe you shouldn't come along," Paul said to Charlie. "Kelly's going to be driving, and I don't need her driving while she's angry."

"No, you said I could," Charlie replied. "I want to be there."

"Charlie, maybe you should listen to Paul," Alan said. "We don't want Kelly to get into an accident."

"Dad, I'm going," Charlie replied. "She'll be fine." He headed out the door, closing it behind him.

Alan sighed. Sometimes he really wanted to smack his son when he didn't listen; he turned to Paul. "Look, I'm not going to tell you how to do your job," he said, "but if it's a choice between keeping Kelly safe and Charlie happy …."

Paul nodded, understand. "Don't have to tell me twice," he said. He excused himself, heading out the door. Alan wanted to go out there and see them off, but he knew better than to get involved; he also knew that things would work out – one way or the other.

(End of Chapter 4)


	5. Chapter 5

- - - - 

Don stared at his reflection in the mirror of the bathroom. He wore a puke green shirt, dirty blue jeans, black boots, with a dark blue baseball cap positioned backwards on his head. He sighed and shrugged as he walked out; Megan and Colby were waiting in the hall. "Well," he said. "What do you think?"

"Not bad, Don," Megan replied.

"Too bad you couldn't lose a few teeth," Colby said, smiling. "Then you'd really look the part."

"We're going for country, Colby," Don said, "not white trash."

"Yeah, especially not white trash," David replied, walking out of the bathroom, one eyebrow raised, smirking. He wore a black shirt, blue jeans, and muddy tennis shoes; he also had a dark blue baseball cap sitting backwards on his head. "No offense or anything, but that doesn't exactly cover me." He pointedly looked at Colby.

"Then country it is," Megan said, smiling as she handed the two men wires and earpieces.

"Alright, just remember the plan," Don said, heading down the hall with his partners. "David and I are strictly going there to get information while you guys monitor stuff from the van. Is everything set?"

"Yeah, everything's wired and set up," Megan said. "And your car's parked outside."

"What did you guys manage to get?" David asked.

"Talked to a friend of mine," Colby replied. "He's letting us borrow his '63 Sport Fury. It's suped-up and ready to go, complete with fake license, just in case our guys in question decide to run it."

"Great," Don said.

"And my friend also asked us not to destroy his car," Colby added.

Don smiled. "We'll do our best," he said as they headed for the elevators.

- - - -

A row of suped-up cars – both older and late models – sat in the parking lot outside an industrial warehouse located in the industrial district of southern Los Angeles. The warehouse was flanked by a couple more warehouses, and all of them had the same drab brick brown color, nothing that would make them stand out. A crowd of men, and a few women in skimpy outfits, were talking, laughing, and looking at the cars when the red '74 Dodge Challenger turned into the parking lot. Kelly sat at the wheel, and Paul sat beside her; both of them in disguise.

"We're in position," Paul said, speaking into his hidden microphone.

"Copy that," Trisha said into her headset as she sat with Murphy and Charlie in the van, parked across the street from the warehouse. Trisha sat in the front, keeping a visual, while Murphy and Charlie sat in the back in front of a custom-designed console with all kinds of surveillance equipment on it, wearing headsets as they watched three video monitors; one of the feeds came from a camera positioned on the top of the van, and the other two were coming from mini-cameras hooked onto Paul's and Kelly's clothes. "You two ready for this?"

"Ready as we'll ever be," Kelly said.

"Now, remember, if it gets to the point where anything seems out of place or someone gets suspicious," Murphy replied, "then walk away; we don't need anything happening to either of you."

"Copy that," Paul replied. He turned to Kelly. "Let's do this." Kelly nodded.

"Hey, Kelly?" Charlie asked, speaking into his own wire. Kelly clearly heard Charlie's voice, but she didn't acknowledge him. Most of her anger about him being there was gone, but she was still angry with Charlie – with the agents and Charlie, actually, but mainly Charlie. She knew that he had butted in in the first place … just like he sometimes did with FBI cases when Don didn't need his help; she could now see how frustrating Charlie could be that way. "Kelly?" The young woman zipped her lips and Charlie sighed. "Look, uh, Kelly … be careful, okay?"

Kelly didn't say anything as she drove the car up to the group and killed the engine before she and Paul climbed out the open windows. The guys raised their eyebrows, smiling and whistling appreciatively at Kelly; the young woman smiled.

"Howdy, ya'll," she said, slipping into an exaggerated version of her Southern accent.

"Well, howdy yourself," one of the guys said as he approached. He had a mass of short brown hair and green eyes, and he wore a white t-shirt, loose brown pants, and designer tennis shoes. He stared at the young woman in such a way that Kelly knew what he was thinking. From inside the van, Charlie narrowed his eyes, seeing the guy's expression on the monitor.

"Can I rip his eyes out?" he asked.

Kelly smiled tightly, ignoring Charlie's question. "I'm lookin' for whoever's in charge here," she said to the guy. "Ya know where I might find 'im?"

"Well, I'm sure I can help you with whatever you're needing, baby," the guy said. "I'm Theo Green, but everyone calls me Lightning."

"Uh huh," Kelly said, unimpressed. "Ya in charge?"

"Not really, but -"

"Then I really don't think ya can help me," Kelly interrupted. Theo scowled and walked away, and Charlie grinned.

"That's right, pal," Charlie said. "You heard what she said; scram."

"I'm in charge," a guy about Don's age said as he walked over from the group. He wore jeans, tennis shoes, and a black button down shirt; he had brown spiky hair and brown eyes, and he looked Kelly up and down, but he didn't have the same leering expression Theo had. "Can I help you?"

"Libby Boswell," Kelly said as she walked over, meeting him halfway, holding out her hand. She nodded at Paul as he stood next to the car. "That's my brother, Roy." Paul nodded.

"Calvert," the guy said, shaking Kelly's hand; he eyed Paul. "Your brother, huh?"

Kelly nodded. "Yeah."

"How can I help you, Miss Boswell?" Calvert asked.

"I'm here ta race," Kelly said.

Calvert raised an eyebrow. "And who says this is the place to race?" he asked.

Kelly smiled. "It don't take a genius ta figger that one out," she said. "Now, I heard there was some fine racin' out here, so I came all the way from Atlanta ta join in the fun … and I ain't leavin' till I do."

"Well, not to sound sexist or anything," Calvert said, "but, uh … you can drive?"

"Anythang on four wheels, sugar," Kelly replied, smiling as she crossed her arms.

Calvert pursed his lips, then he eyed her car. "Nice car," he said.

"Well, it's just a '74 Dodge Challenger," Kelly said, looking back at the car, knowing he was testing her. "Blown nitrous oxide inject 440-cubic inch engine, ladder bar-coil over the rear suspension, 16-gallon fuel cell, weld racin' wheels, 727 Torqueflite transmission, 10-point cage, and Mickey Thompson tires." She turned back to Calvert, smiling. "Nothin' too fancy, but perfect fer racin'."

"D, she's good," Murphy said. He glanced at Charlie as the mathematician grinned.

"You should see her drive," Trisha said.

"Let's hope she doesn't have to," Charlie added.

"Paul, you got anything?" Murphy asked.

Paul stood near the car and looked around casually, taking in the property around him. "Nothing yet," he said, his voice low and barely audible. "Give me some time."

"Impressive," Calvert said, smiling and nodding at the young woman. He paused, thinking. "I'll let you join, Miss Boswell – on one condition."

"What's that?" Kelly asked.

"You've proven you can talk about cars," Calvert said. "Let's see how you can handle them."

"What?" Kelly asked.

"What?" Charlie asked.

"You heard me," Calvert said. "You wanna run with us … you gotta prove yourself – just like they did."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," Charlie said. "Kelly, you can't race."

"What would I have ta do?" Kelly asked, ignoring Charlie.

"Hello?" Charlie said loudly into his mouthpiece. "Is this on?"

Calvert nodded and turned to the group. "Lightning!" he shouted, waving him over. Theo hurried over. "Lightning's our best driver. You run the course with him."

"And what does this course consist of?" Kelly asked.

"Nothing big," Calvert said. "Just a little test strip on the waterfront."

"What about the cops?" Kelly asked. "I ain't scared of 'em, but I don't like takin' unnecessary risks."

"Yeah right," Murphy, Trisha, and Charlie voices muttered in her earpiece.

"Don't worry about the cops," Calvert said.

Kelly smiled tightly. "Then let's go." She turned and headed back to the car. "Come on, Roy." The two climbed back into the Challenger and watched as the rest of the group got into their cars.

"Okay, I know you drive, but Kelly, this is street racing!" Charlie shouted.

"Charlie, back in Hazzard," Kelly said, her voice cold and edgy, "everything was street racin'." She watched as the cars pulled out of the parking lot; she followed.

"We're going to follow, right?" Charlie asked as the cars drove off.

"No," Trisha said as she watched the cars head down the street. "They're on their own."

(End of Chapter 5)


	6. Chapter 6

- - - - 

That particular area of the waterfront was quiet and mostly deserted as the group of fourteen cars drove down South Fries Avenue. They stopped near the intersection at South La Paloma Avenue, and all the cars moved off to the sides, save for the Challenger with Paul and Kelly, and a 1997 white Avenger with Theo; they stopped just past the group of cars, waiting. Calvert got out of his car, a black 2003 Ferrari 360, and he walked over between the two cars, motioning for them to roll down their windows.

"Rules are simple," Calvert said after they rolled their windows down. "Down to Water Street, follow it all the around through Yacht and Canal, then loop back around and come back here." He looked at Kelly. "If you can beat Lightning, Miss Boswell, then you're in."

"And if I don't?" Kelly asked.

"If you don't," Calvert said, "then I get your car, and you and your brother can see if those boots you're wearing are made for walking."

"Kelly, say no," Charlie said. "Walk away … no racing."

"Ya got a deal," Kelly said.

"What?!" Charlie screeched. Kelly smiled at Calvert as her ear rang.

"Any questions?" Calvert asked.

"Can I say something?" Charlie asked through the headset.

"No," Kelly replied answering both Calvert and Charlie's questions.

"Good," Calvert said. "Oh, and we're not liable for anything that happens if you get caught or killed." He walked away; Theo glanced over and smirked at Kelly as he gunned his engine; Kelly rolled her eyes and faced forward.

"Charlie, if ya ever screech inta my ear again, I'll kill ya myself," Kelly threatened softly.

"Me too," Paul said, rubbing his ear.

"Have you lost it?" Charlie asked.

"Charlie," Murphy said, "this is something we figured she might have to do."

"It's street racing," Charlie said. "Do you know what the statistics for street racing-related deaths were this year?"

"No, but if ya keep that up, there's gonna be one more added, okay?" Kelly replied as she started her car.

"You could get killed," Charlie said.

"I know what I'm doin'," Kelly replied. "Now, either ya shut up, or I'm takin' out my earpiece; I don't need ya yellin' in my ear while I'm racin'." Silence. "Thank ya."

One of the scantily-clad women walked in front of the two cars; she took off the yellow scarf hanging from her belt and held it in the air. The two drivers watched as the woman brought her arm down; both cars peeled off, leaving four trails of burned rubbed in the wake.

Calvert watched the cars disappear down the road with a smile, then he turned to the group. "She's got spunk," he said.

"Y también un asno caliente," one of the guys said; the other guys laughed, but Calvert's smiled disappeared as he walked over, grabbed the guy by his shirt, and slammed him against one of the cars.

"You wanna stay on this circuit," he said to the guy through clenched teeth, "then you watch what you say around here."

"Hey, man, chill," the guy said, struggling.

"I only have two rules here, boy," Calvert replied, holding the guy tight. "No drinking, no drugs, or anything that inhibits driving … and you respect the women here. Do you understand me?" The guy nodded, and Calvert let him go. "Good." He let go of the guy and looked at the rest of the group. "Anyone else wanna say something?" The group remained silent. "Good." Everyone waited in silence for the cars to return.

- - - -

Charlie glanced at the video feed from Kelly's camera, and he could see from the odometer that she was driving pretty fast; he opened his mouth to say something, but he knew she would yell at him. He glanced at Murphy, glaring at the agent as Murphy watched; the agent noticed Charlie watching him.

"What?" Murphy asked.

"Did her father really approve this?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, we showed you all the papers already, Charlie," Murphy replied, slightly annoyed; he could understand Charlie's protectiveness, but it was starting to wear on the agent's nerves.

"Maybe we have a different definition of 'not dangerous,'" Charlie said, "because driving eighty miles per hour on asphalt seems a little on the dangerous side to me."

"She knows what she's doing, Charlie," Murphy replied, watching the video. "And you've been with her when she's driven."

"Not like this," Charlie replied.

"Both of you knock it off," Trisha said as she looked through her binoculars at the parking lot. "We have a job to do, and you're not helping things by bickering."

"But I still fail to see why you're allowing Kelly -"

"Charlie, Kelly's presence is required here," Trisha interrupted. "Yours isn't. Either you shut up … or you can get out and go home. Understand?" Charlie nodded, wide-eyed and stunned by the agent's demeanor. "Good. Now, keep an eye on Kelly and Paul." Murphy and Charlie went back to watching the video screens as Trisha .

- - - -

Calvert and everyone watched as the Avenger and Challenger sped down the road, approaching the group of cars, the Challenger ahead by about a foot. The Challenger passed the group of cars ahead of the Avenger … and then the two cars slammed on their breaks, skidding for about a hundred feet before stopping, leaving long tire tracks. Calvert and the others walked over, cheering and clapping as Paul and Kelly climbed out of the windows. Kelly glanced at Theo, and she could see he looked extremely p off that he had gotten beaten; she smirked at him before looking back at Calvert.

"D, that was some mighty fine driving," Calvert said, impressed. "Where'd you learn to drive that fast?"

"Back home," Kelly said. "Had to drive fast to stay ahead of the law." Calvert nodded. "So, am I in?"

Calvert smiled and held his hand. "Welcome to the club, Miss Boswell," he replied.

Kelly shook the hand, smiling. "And my brother?" she asked. "He goes where I go."

Calvert eyed Paul briefly. "He can stay," he said, "but we need to get back to the property."

"Lead the way," Kelly said. Everyone went back to their cars, and they all took off back toward the warehouse. "Guys, ya copy that?"

"Copy that, Kelly," Murphy said. "Just remember the plan. Paul is there to do the investigation. Your job is strictly to -"

"Distract, distract," Kelly interrupted. "I know, I know." She smirked at Paul. "Think ya can remember that, Paul?"

"I do my part," Paul said, smiling, "and, uh … you do yours."

"Please don't say that so casually," Charlie said.

"Charlie, can it," Kelly said, her voice clearly laced with anger.

"Okay, why are you so mad at me?" Charlie asked, frustrated himself. "Ever since we left the house, you've either snapped at me or just completely ignored me."

"Take a guess," Kelly replied.

"You're still mad because I'm here?" Charlie asked incredulously.

"Yeah, because ya have no right ta be here," Kelly said. "Ya weren't asked ta be here." Charlie didn't respond, but he glowered from his spot; the rest of the trip back to town was silent until Paul and Kelly reached the warehouse.

"Paul, Kelly, you have company back at the garage," Murphy said.

"Who is it?" Paul asked.

"Black car just pulled up," Murphy said. "Two occupants in the car; can't see them very well yet."

"What kind of car?" Kelly asked.

"It's a black car, Kelly," Murphy said, slightly annoyed. "I don't know what kind it is; I wasn't raised as a mechanic's kid like a certain someone."

"Okay, I was just curious," Kelly said. "No need ta get knottyboxered."

"Any audio?" Paul asked.

"None yet," Murphy replied.

"Well, we're almost there," Paul said. "Keep a visual for us."

"Copy that," Murphy said. The group of cars rolled into the parking lot, and everyone got out; Kelly and Paul stayed next to their car as Calvert and the others walked over to the newcomers.

Murphy and Charlie looked at the surveillance video feed and saw the two men, but their backs were to the camera, so Murphy and Charlie could only make out the basics: two men, one white, one black, wearing t-shirts, jeans, boots, tennis shoes, and backward-facing baseball caps. Charlie smirked; even without seeing their faces … he knew who they were. He bit his lower lip to keep from laughing; he knew things were going to about to get interesting.

"So, what do we do?" Kelly asked softly. Calvert turned around and motioned for Kelly and Paul to come over.

"I guess we go over," Paul replied. The two made their way over to Calvert, distracted with their own thoughts.

"And here she is, Libby Boswell," Calvert said. "One of the fastest drivers I've seen this side of the San Andreas." He nodded at Paul. "Her brother, Roy." Kelly looked over at the visitors; she stopped short when she recognized them, even with the shades covering their eyes.

"What the h are those two doing here?" Murphy asked.

"Who?" Trisha asked.

"Agents Eppes and Sinclair," Murphy said.

"What?!" Trisha shouted.

Kelly half-listened to the conversation in her earpiece as she glanced at Don and David, eyes widening slightly, wondering if they recognized her, but they were staring at Paul – and she knew they recognized him. The young woman glanced at Paul, waiting for him to make the first move. Paul smiled and extended his hand.

"Nice to meet both of ya," he said, his voice slipping into a twang. "And who might y'all be?"

"Uh, Lloyd," Don said slowly, wondering why Paul was there, but he couldn't say anything; he had to stay in character. "Lloyd Byron." He jerked his thumb at David. "My friend, Herbal Ackland." He glanced at the young woman beside Paul, getting a good look at her; he smiled as he looked her up and down, his eyes settling on her shorts.

"Why is my brother checking out my girlfriend?" Charlie asked.

"I think the question we should be asking is 'why is your brother here in the first place?'" Murphy retorted.

"Oh, he's working on a fraud case," Charlie said. Kelly and Paul hear silence, then …

"Excuse me?" Murphy asked.

"Uh … nothing," Charlie said quickly. "Nothing."

Kelly and Paul half-listened to the conversation, but they had caught what Charlie had said … and what that meant: he knew that Don and David had planned on being there – and Charlie hadn't bothered to let them know about that vital piece of information. She glanced at Paul, and he just looked at her. She blinked once, recognizing what he was 'telling' her. The young woman turned back to Don and David, smiling; it was time to have some fun.

"See anythin' ya like?" she asked Don, slipping into her twang.

Don glanced up at Kelly, smiling as he met her eyes; after a few seconds his eyes widened slightly as he slowly glanced back down at her shorts … which looked very familiar, like the design of Kelly's …. His eyes widened a little more as he met Kelly's eyes again, and the young woman knew he finally recognized her.

"Uh," Don said slowly, "just … just a little surprised; you seem a bit young to be behind the wheel."

"Oh, I'm gonna forgive that remark," Kelly said, "seein' how much of a fine cut of meat ya are."

"What?!" Charlie shouted.

Don forced a chuckle, trying not to blush. He had two questions going in his head at the moment: Why was Kelly there in the first place? And why was she hitting on him? "Well, Miss Boswell," he said, using all his power to stay in character, "thank you for the flattery, but -"

"And ya got all yer teeth, too!" Kelly exclaimed. "Wow, a double threat man!" She turned to Paul. "Roy, look at 'im."

"Kelly, that's my brother," Charlie said.

"Now, Libby," Paul replied, trying to sound brotherly, "ya already got yerself a beau, remember?"

"You tell her, Paul," Charlie said.

"Yeah, I know," Kelly replied, "but I'm thinkin' about tradin' 'im in for a new model."

"Ha, ha, very funny," Charlie said. "That's just hilarious."

"Oh, yeah," Paul replied, nodding, glad that Charlie could hear all of this; it was nice to get a little payback for Charlie not telling them what he knew – and for being annoying. "Yeah, I remember … scrawny little thing, likes to yap a lot."

"Hey!" Charlie shouted.

"Actually, Roy," Kelly replied, folding her arms and looking right at Don, "I've been thinkin' about gettin' someone with a little more … experience."

"Okay, that's not funny anymore!" Charlie shouted. "Kelly, that's my -" Paul and Kelly heard the transmission cut, and they were both glad; with all the shouting Charlie did, they were certain they'd have some level of hearing loss.

"Okay, you guys can continue this little … discussion later," Calvert said. "What you two do on your time is none of my business."

"Fine by me," Kelly said, smiling at Don. "I'm a patient woman." She glanced at Don and David's car, walking over, giving it the once-over. "Nice car."

"Thanks," David replied.

"1963 Plymouth Sport Fury," Kelly said. "I'm guessin' with a 440 Hemi engine, narrowed rear end, 12-point cage, aluminum interior, 16-gallon fuel cell, Mark Williams axles, custom headers, 5000 stall converter, single 1050 Dominator carburetor, and nitrous oxide system." She glanced up at Don and David. "Am I right?"

Don knew her well enough to know she was right, and he nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Nice eye." You are so dead when we're alone, young lady, he thought.

"Thank ya," Kelly replied.

"And it's time to see if that car can cut it," Calvert said. "Byron, before I let you in, you gotta prove you're fast enough." He turned to Kelly and Paul. "You two are free to go until tonight."

"What's tonight?" Paul asked.

"Your first real race," Calvert replied. "Meet back here at nine."

"Ya got it," Kelly said. She and Paul headed back to their car, and everyone watched them get in and drive off. Calvert turned to Don and David. "Gentlemen, you can follow me." He headed back to his car, and Don and David got in theirs, Don at the wheel and David riding shotgun. Once they were inside and buckled, David suddenly started laughing.

"What?" Don asked.

"Oh, man, you better be glad Charlie isn't here," David said. "He'd be so mad right about now."

"What is the matter with you?" Don asked, annoyed. "That was Kelly hitting on me."

"So, that was Kelly we heard, huh?" Colby's voice came through the earpieces Don and David wore. Don and David heard the amusement in Colby's voice; Don rolled his eyes while David snickered.

"What is she doing there?" Megan's voice asked.

"We're not sure," Don answered as he started the car, "but Paul was with her. Secret Service might have something to do with it."

"You don't think they're here on their own?" Colby asked.

"No, even Paul's not that stupid," Don replied.

"Doesn't make sense why Kelly's here, though," David said.

"Well, she does know a lot about cars," Colby replied. "Maybe they're using her skills to help them."

"I don't care why she's here," Don said. "She shouldn't be here; it's too dangerous."

"Well, there's not much we can do about it," Megan replied.

"Actually, there's plenty you can do," Don said. "Call SS headquarters and find out why they're here and why they have a civilian undercover - especially her."

"You got it," Colby answered.

"Thanks," Don said. "We'll be back soon." He followed the group of cars out of the parking lot, passing the white utility van parked nearby where he knew Colby and Megan were surveilling.

"Be careful," Megan said as they watched the cars drive off.

(End of Chapter 6)


	7. Chapter 7

- - - - 

The van rolled up beside the curb in front of the Eppes house, and the side door opened; Charlie all but stumbled out, and Murphy closed the door before the van drove off. Charlie glared at the disappearing vehicle for a few seconds before turning and huffing up the walk, throwing open the front door, marching through, and slamming it shut behind him. Alan looked up from his Sudoku puzzle as he sat in the living room as Charlie came in.  
"Aren't you supposed to be working a case?" Alan asked as Charlie headed for the stairs.

"I was kicked off!" Charlie shouted as he stormed up the stairs.

"'Kicked off?'" Alan asked, frowning. He put down his puzzle, took off his glasses and put them on the puzzle before he got to his feet and headed for the stairs; he debated following Charlie, but after a few seconds Charlie came back down, stuffing his wallet into his pants. "Why were you kicked off?"

"Because they think I was being too loud," Charlie said.

"Were you?" Alan asked.

"I was just voicing my opinion," Charlie replied. "Kelly was hitting on Don and -"

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," Alan said, holding up his hand. "What is your brother doing there?"

"The FBI's working on the case too," Charlie replied. "They've been doing this fraud thing, and it led them to the same place the Secret Service is going undercover."

"Oh, that should be interesting," Alan said wryly. He sighed and rubbed his head tiredly. "So, your brother's undercover with Kelly … and she's hitting on him?"

"Yeah," Charlie replied. "And she knew I could see and hear every word."

"Well, uh, that's why she's there, Charlie," Alan said. "She's undercover; she has to act a certain way."

"She's hitting on my brother," Charlie replied loudly. "She has no business doing that; she's my girlfriend, not Don's."

Alan frowned. "Charlie, do you honestly think that Kelly and your brother are like that?" he asked.

"Well, he was with Val," Charlie snidely answered.

"Come on," Alan said. "You were nine years old, and she was seventeen." Charlie snorted. "Were you like this while Kelly and the others were trying to do their job?" Charlie didn't answer, but he sullenly looked away. Alan nodded and went back to his chair, sat down, put his glasses on, and picked up his puzzle. "Well, my boy, if you were like that, then I can understand why they kicked you off."

"What?" Charlie shouted.

"You were behaving like a little kid who wasn't getting his way," Alan said calmly. "Just like you're doing right now." Charlie scowled and headed for the door. "Where are you going?"

Charlie opened the front door. "Radio Shack," he replied, walking out and slamming the door shut behind him. Alan stared at the door and blinked, then sighed and shook his head before going back to his puzzle.

- - - -

The door to a nondescript – and somewhat run-down – motel room in Wilmington opened, and Kelly and Paul walked in, each carrying a bag over their shoulders. While Paul closed the door and locked it, Kelly walked over to one of the two beds and claimed it by putting her bag down on and flopping down on the bed. Paul sat down on the edge of the other bed, putting his bag on the floor; he sighed, rubbing his hand on his face.

"Ya okay?" Kelly asked as she sat up.

"No, I'm not okay," Paul replied harshly. "If Don and Agent Sinclair are undercover … why the hell weren't we informed?"

"Well," Kelly said as she took off her wig, shaking her hair loose, "ya kinda didn't inform them about us goin' undercover." Paul glared at her, and she raised her hands, defensively. "Hey, I'm just sayin'." She tossed her wig on the nightstand between the beds. "Look, if gettin' inta this thing involves racin', then I don't think we're gonna have too much ta worry about."

"You don't think Don's that good of a driver?" Paul asked.

"He's a good driver," Kelly replied, "but I seriously doubt he's in the same level of drivin' as I am."

"Don't go getting cocky," Paul warned.

"I ain't gettin' cocky," Kelly said. "I'm just lookin' at the facts: yer in the Secret Service, and even ya can't drive the way I do – and y'all have more trainin'."

Paul paused to consider that, and he nodded in agreement after a few seconds. "Still doesn't explain why the FBI's here," he said.

"And we're not having much luck at the moment," Trisha's voice came through the earpieces. "We called the field office to find out what's going on, but they're giving us the runaround."

"So, what do we do?" Kelly asked.

"You and Paul do your job," Trisha replied. "Murphy and I will worry about the FBI."

"And Charlie?" Kelly asked.

"We've removed him," Murphy replied. "Dropped him off back at the house after you two left."

"Good," Kelly replied as she took off her boots. "He shouldn't have been here in the first place." She sighed as she kicked her boots off and lay on her back, stretching.

"Look, why don't you both get some rest?" Trisha suggested. "You have a long night ahead of you."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Kelly replied as she turned on her side, getting settled on her bed. She closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep, but she suddenly got the feeling that someone was watching her. She opened her eyes and saw Paul staring at her; she sighed, annoyed. "What?"

"Just wondering something," the agent replied.

"What?" Kelly asked.

"What your first time behind the steering wheel of a car must have been like," Paul answered.

Kelly shrugged. "Well, ta be honest," she said, "it almost landed me in jail."

"That I'm not surprised about," Paul replied, smiling. "What happened?"

"I was arrested fer grand theft auto," Kelly answered, "when I was thirteen."

Paul's eyes widened in shock. "You were …." He trailed of, shaking his head. "I shouldn't even have to ask that. Of course you were."

"Oh, it gets better," Kelly said as she sat up, smiling. "Guess whose car I took?"

"I'm afraid to ask," Paul replied, even though he knew Kelly was going to tell him.

- - - -

_"Cooter!" Cooter looked up from the engine he was working and over at the gargae's CB radio. "Cooter, this is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, and I am orderin' ya ta pull over!" Cooter tilted his head, confused._

_"Come on, Cooter!" Enos' voice came over the radio, "please stop! Yer speedin', and that ain't right."_

_That was it for the mechanic. He put down his wrench and walked over to the CB, grabbing the mic. "Breaker one, breaker one, might be crazy, but I ain't dumb, Crazy Cooter comin' at ya, what in the heck is goin' on?"_

_"'What's goin' on?'" Rosco asked incredulously. "Cooter, yer tearin' down the road like a jackrabbit with his feet on fire! Now, pull over!"_

_"Rosco, yer head's full of rocks!" Cooter shouted. "I'm here in the garage!"_

_"I am chasin' a red and white 1976 Ford Torino!" Rosco said. "That's yer car, Cooter!"_

_"Well, it ain't mine!" Cooter protested. "My car's here in the garage!" He stopped when he saw the empty spot where his car was once parked; his eyes widened. "Rosco, my car's been stolen!"_

_"Oh, don't give me that, Cooter," Rosco said. "I know it's ya! I ain't fallin' fer yer trick!"_

_"Well, maybe he's tellin' the truth, Sheriff," Enos replied._

_"Enos, hush, ya dipstick!" Rosco said. "I'm the sheriff here, and I say that's Cooter in the car!"_

_"And I'm sayin' ya have a hole in yer bag of marbles, Rosco," Cooter replied, annoyed. "I'm in my garage with Kelly, and we're workin' on an engine, right, pumpkin?" He waited for his daughter to reply. Nothing. The mechanic looked around, finally noticing that his daughter was nowhere in sight. "Pumpkin?" Silence. Cooter took off his cap and scratched his head, confused … and suddenly it dawned on him; his face paled three shades, his jaw tightened, and he gripped the mic so hard his knuckles turned white as he brought it close to his mouth. "KELLY ANGELICA DAVENPORT!!!!"_

- - - -

"You stole your father's car?" Paul asked incredulously. Kelly nodded, smiling. "Why?"

"I wanted ta drive," Kelly replied.

"Of course you did," Paul said, rolling his eyes. He sighed and shook his head. "So, what happened when they caught you?"

"Oh, they brought me back ta town," Kelly replied; "in Enos' patrol car; they left Daddy's car where I was stopped. Anyway, I was beggin' Enos ta not throw me in jail, ya know, tryin' ta shmooze him and everythin' … and then I saw Daddy waitin' in front of the courthouse. One look at his expression, and I was beggin' Enos TO put me in jail."

Paul chuckled. "Yeah, your father is a force," he replied, touching his jaw where Cooter had punched him months ago. "So, I'm assuming you went to jail first?"

Kelly shook her head. "No, Enos and Rosco handed me over ta Daddy," she answered. "Course, he did threaten them with bodily harm ta accomplish that." She chuckled. "He even growled at 'em." Paul raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. "Rule number one: never ever get between a daddy and his child … especially when he wants ta kill said child."

"So, what happened after he got you back?" Paul asked.

"Well …," Kelly answered, trailing off as she winced and squirmed.

- - - -

_"Daddy, please!"_

_"Kelly, ya stole my car!"_

_"I was only borrowin' it!"_

_"I don't care! Ya didn't ask me, and more importantly, yer only thirteen years old! Ya don't know nuthin' about drivin', and what ya did was illegal! Ya could have gotten yerself or someone else hurt or killed!" He sat down on the couch and pulled his thirteen year old over his knees._

_"But I didn't go ta jail!" Kelly protested as she squirmed. "An' we do illegal stuff all the time!"_

_"There's a difference between what we do and what ya did," Cooter said, using one hand on Kelly's back to keep her in place. "What ya did was wrong, and just 'cause ya didn't get put in jail don't mean ya ain't gonna get punished." He held Kelly in place and brought his other hand down, palm open. He connected hard with Kelly's bottom, and the young girl howled in pain. The mechanic brought his hand up and down again, repeating the process nine more times. When he had finished, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he used his hands to softy rub Kelly's back, trying not to break down at hearing his daughter's muffled sobs._

_After a few minutes Kelly had become quiet, so Cooter carefully shifted her until she was sitting on his lap. She wouldn't look at him, her long brown hair messed up and in her face. Cooter smoothed the strands, tucking them behind her ears, then he tilted her chin up, seeing the tear streaks on her cheeks._

_"Will ya please look at me?" the mechanic asked softly. Kelly slowly looked up at her father, her green eyes dull and cloudy. "There we go." He sighed. "Now, Kelly, do ya know why I spanked ya?"_

_"'Cause I did sumthin' wrong," Kelly said, her voice soft._

_"And?"_

_"And I coulda gotten hurt."_

_"And?"_

_"And I'll never do it again."_

_Cooter smiled and brushed the tears from her face before kissing her forehead. "Good girl." He hugged her gently. "I love ya, pumpkin." He was relieved when he felt her arms go around his neck._

_"I love ya, too, Daddy."_

- - - -

"And I never stole a car again," Kelly said.

"Well, not for another ten years, anyway," Paul replied, smiling.

Kelly smiled and yawned as she lay back, resting her head on her pillow. "I'm gonna get some rest," she said softly as she closed her eyes. As she drifted off to sleep, Paul busied himself with memorizing a street map from his bag.

(End of Chapter 7)


	8. Chapter 8

- - - - 

The sun was setting as Charlie stood on the roof of his house, carefully positioning the satellite next to the chimney. When he was satisfied it was where he wanted it, he knelt down and started securing it. Usually he would have been humming or whistling, but he was on a short timetable, so he was serious, his jaw set. After getting the last screw in, he grabbed a set of three colored wires – red, blue, and yellow – that were tied together; one end was connected to a modified shortwave radio in his room. He took the end not connected to anything and plugged it into the outlets on the satellite dish, making sure they were in place.

"Charles?" Charlie glanced over his shoulder and saw Larry standing in his yard near the ladder. "Your father said you were out here. What are you doing?"

"Getting some wires hooked up," Charlie replied as he went back to his work.

"Yes, I can see that," Larry said. "Any particular reason why?"

"Because if I don't have this ready soon, then I won't have time to intercept the Secret Service's signal before the race starts."

Larry raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, that's right," Charlie answered, his tone extremely sarcastic. "Let's see … you know that case Don was going undercover for? Well, Kelly and Paul are also undercover, and I was only trying to keep an eye on Kelly, because what she's doing is extremely dangerous, and not only does she get mad at me for acting concerned, she starts hitting on my brother and then the Secret Service kicks me off the case by literally dumping me onto the front lawn earlier this afternoon." He smiled forcefully down at his mentor. "Does that answer your question?"

Larry blinked repeatedly. "Uh … Charles," he said slowly, trying to deal with the easiest – and probably most obvious - question at the moment, "you do realize that tapping into a government transmission is illegal, right?"

"I have clearance from the NSA," Charlie replied as he finished and put his tools away before climbing down the ladder. "And I have a perfectly legitimate reason for doing what I'm doing."

"Really?" Larry asked. "Last time I checked, jealousy wasn't considered a legitimate reason to spy on your girlfriend or brother."

"I am not jealous," Charlie said. "I'm just trying to protect my girlfriend … even if she is hitting on my brother."

Larry sighed. "Charles, you know that black holes are described and visualized as water going down a drain, right?"

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I learned that when I was five, Larry. What's your point?"

Larry shrugged. "Oh, nothing really," he answered. "I'm just noting the similarities between a black hole and your relationships with both Kelly and your brother if you continue to pursue this particular endeavor."

"Look, I have stuff to do," Charlie replied. "Are you here for any particular reason or is it just to lecture me like one of your students?"

Larry's jaw tightened as he walked over to Charlie. "Charles, you may be an adult," he said, his voice low, "and you may excel as a mathematical genius, but when it comes to dealing with people, you might want to reconsider a few of your actions, otherwise you're going to fail miserably." He brushed past his protégé and headed down the driveway.

Charlie watched Larry leave, wondering why his friend was so annoyed at him. It wasn't like Charlie had done anything wrong; he had work to do, and he couldn't afford to be distracted. He glanced at his watch before heading into his house; he only had an hour to get everything calibrated.

- - - -

Cooter was in the process of organizing the papers on his desk and cleaning up after another busy day of dealing with … well, a lot. Local government, national government, international government … the one-time mechanic sometimes wondered if he had done the right thing by accepting the vice-presidency. He knew he was doing a lot of good, but it was still pretty tiring; he wasn't used to helping run an entire country. He sighed as he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, trying to clear his head, thinking about how mundane his life had been in Hazzard; then his phone suddenly rang, jarring him from the silence. Cooter sighed and straightened up, answering the phone on the second ring.

"Hello?" he asked, wondering what he was going to be asked to accomplish before the following morning's cabinet meeting.

"Sir, Agent Eppes is on the line for you," Alice answered.

"Thank you," Cooter said. He heard the click, and then -

"Please tell me you don't actually know what your daughter is up to right now."

Cooter furrowed his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"Kelly is undercover right now with Paul in a street-racing circuit," Don said.

"I'm well aware of that, Don," Cooter replied. "I did give the approval."

"You mean you actually let her?" Don asked angrily. "What were you thinking?"

Cooter frowned. "Now, see here," he said. "I would tread very carefully with yer insinuations, son."

"She is a civilian," Don said. "More importantly, she's your daughter. I would think you of all people would understand that."

"Are you implyin' somthin' about my parentin' skills?" Cooter asked.

"I'm just trying to figure out what the h is going on," Don retorted.

"Then ya should talk with the Secret Service," Cooter said.

"They shut me out," Don replied. "They're not talking."

"Well, I wonder why," Cooter said sarcastically.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Don asked.

"It means that I have a feelin' no one really wants ta talk ta someone yellin' at 'em and questionin' their judgment," Cooter said. "Now, if ya will excuse me, I have ta go." He hung up the phone. He leaned back and sighed as he rubbed his forehead, frustrated and tired. He didn't like hanging up on people – he considered it rude and disrespectful – but he was tired and not in the mood for anyone calling him late at night to yell at him and insult his parenting skills and judgment. After a few seconds he took a deep breath and went back to his work.

(End of Chapter 8)


	9. Chapter 9

- - - - 

A group of people were gathered in front of a group of flashy, tricked-out sports cars parked off to the side of a row of abandoned warehouses; the headlights were on, illuminating the surrounding area, and music blared from a few of the radios. Calvert and Theo were standing near their cars, talking with a couple of other young men, when the red Challenger approached the area. Everyone watched as the car rolled over to Calvert and the others before coming to a stop; Kelly and Paul – back in their disguises - climbed out and walked over.

"Glad you made it," Calvert said. He eyed Kelly's tight black jeans, and matching boots and halter top. "And I see you got some new clothes."

"So, who else is racin'?" Kelly asked, glancing at Theo as she ignored Calvert's comment. "If it's against Lightnin' here, then it ain't gonna be much of a race." Theo glared at her. "I mean, maybe ya should change yer name ta Thunder and I should be Lightnin'."

"And why's that?" Theo growled.

"Thunder always comes after Lighntin'," Kelly replied. Theo took a step toward her, but Calvert put a hand on the younger man's chest, stopping him, just as Paul took a step toward Theo.

"Save it for the race, you two," Calvert replied. "We have a few more racers, Libby, don't worry." He nodded to two young men as they approached the group. "Libby, Roy, meet two of your competitors: Rory Shanahan and Pete Ross." Kelly and Paul quickly sized up the newcomers.

"That's 'Roaring Rory," Rory said. He was Asian-American, about five foot five inches, dressed in western jeans and western shirt and fancy boots.

"Pete Ross," the other guy replied. "But you can call me Boss."

"Nicknames," Kelly replied wryly, eyeing Pete's outfit. _How very ghetto_, she thought. "How juvenile." She turned to Calvert. "I thought I'd be racin' against men, not boys." She smirked at Rory and Pete. "Y'all sure ya got yer drivin' licenses?"

"Yeah, and better cars than that heap of metal of yours," Pete said, nodding to Kelly's car. "Where did you get that, the antique store?"

"Where did ya get yer clothes?" Kelly asked. "The dumpster behind the thrift store?" Pete narrowed his eyes at her.

"What about you?" Rory asked. "Ya drive as good as talk?"

"I'm the best," Kelly said. "In fact, I'm gonna mop the floor with all yer cars."

"Bring it on, sugardrop," Rory said. Kelly rolled her eyes. "Look, if you think you really stand a chance against us, then let's sweeten the race."

Before Kelly could respond, a familiar black car pulled up to the group and stopped. David and Don got out and walked over; Don had to hide a smirk, seeing Kelly and Paul's slightly surprised reactions.

"We're here," Don said.

"Glad you could finally show up," Calvert replied.

"Hey, look, it's Fred and Barney," Pete said, smirking at the two agents. "Hey, guys, in this century cars run on horsepower, not footpower."

"Same goes for your mouth, huh, kid?" Don asked. Everyone snickered as Pete glared at Don.

"Okay, if you guys are through yammering," Calvert said, stepping in, "I'd like to go over the lay of the course. After the race starts, you're going to head west on Anaheim, then south on Avalon. When you get to Harry Bridges Boulevard, turn right, and drive down until you get to Figueroa Street. Head north until you hit Sepulveda Boulevard, then you're going to head east over the tracks until you come Alameda Street; go south and curve around O Street and circle back around Pacific Coast Highway and go back to Alameda. When you come to Anaheim, turn right, and come back here. And if you even think about cheating, I have spotters at each of the seventeen major intersection. They have radios and video cameras, and they will inform me if anyone decides to take a shortcut."

"And the stakes?" Don asked.

"Pinks," Theo replied.

"Pinks?" David asked.

"Pink slips," Kelly answered. "The deed ta yer car."

"So, if we lose the race, we lose our car?" Don asked.

"Not unless you lose the circuit," Calvert replied. "That's how I work: I do circuits, and each one consists of five races. If you don't place in the top three in three races, you lose your car."

"So, this is a new circuit, then," Paul said.

"No, this is the third race in this circuit," Theo replied, smirking. "Meaning you have to place in all three races from now on … or we get your car." He grinned at Kelly. "Too bad you're not part of the pot, sweetheart."

"And too bad ya have the IQ of a turnip," Kelly retorted. Theo scowled at her.

"Well, we have our ways of sweetening the deal," Rory said; he smirked. "Even without the honey."

"How so?" Kelly asked, folding her arms, wanting to rip the tongues out of the three racers.

Rory held up a wad of bills. "If you drive as good as you talk, then why don't you put your money where your mouth is, honey?" he asked. "Two thousand for the first person to make it back here." Kelly glanced at Pete as he produced the same amount of money. "What about you, princess? You in?"

Kelly held out her hand out to Paul as she kept her eyes on Rory and Pete. Paul reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a wad of cash; he counted out two thousand dollars in hundred dollar bills before handing them to Kelly. "Two thousand," she said, holding up her money. "Count me in." She glanced at Don. "What about you, Lloyd?"

Don pulled two thousand dollars out of his pocket. "I'm in," he replied. The racers handed their money to Calvert.

"And somethin' else ta sweeten the deal," Kelly said.

"What's that?" Rory asked.

"We don't use our nitrous," Kelly replied. "We use our own engines the way they were meant ta work." She smirked. "Unless ya guys don't think yer man enough ta lay off the oxide fer one race." She almost laughed out loud when she saw Peter, Rory, and Theo glaring at her.

"You know, if you wasn't a girl, I'd kick your a," Theo said, edging close to her.

"Ya'd only embarrass yerself," Kelly replied calmly. "Just like yer about ta do in this race."

"You're on," Theo said. "No nitrous." He glanced at Rory and Pete. "Okay, guys? We'll humor the little lady." The two racers snickered but nodded. Theo looked at Don, eyes narrowed slightly. "Got a problem with that, Byron?"

"No, I'm cool," Don replied, shrugging. "No nitrous."

"Okay, everyone to your cars and get to the starting line," Calvert said. The group dispersed, and the racers walked to their cars. Kelly and Paul were in the process of climbing in when Don and David walked over; she stopped halfway in the window, resting on the frame, while Paul did the same, looking over the hood and watching the trio.

"What?" Kelly asked.

"I think it would be a good idea for you to back out," Don said, keeping his voice low.

"Now, why would I wanna do that?" Kelly asked, innocently. "I'm about ta win eight thousand dollars."

"This isn't a game," Don said, his voice laced with anger.

"Never said it was," Kelly replied as she climbed inside the car; Paul followed. "Now, ya might wanna get ta yer car. The race is about ta start." She smirked up at the two agents. "Oh, and one more thing: ya might wanna stay outta my way." She started her engine and slowly pulled away, heading for the starting line.

"I'm gonna kill her myself," Don said, his voice still low as he and David headed toward their car. "I swear I'm gonna kill her myself."

"You do that," Colby's voice came over Don and David's earpieces, "then you're going to have to answer to her father. And her boyfriend."

"Her father I can handle," Don replied as he and David got into their car. "As for her boyfriend," he snorted, "please. Now, any luck getting tapped into their frequency?"

"Not yet," Megan replied from the van. "They've got a pretty tight lock on this frequency."

"I gave you guys the information for their radio frequency," Don replied. Because of his close contact to Kelly after she moved to LA, the Secret Service had authorized Don to have access to the radio frequency designated for Kelly's detail in case the need arose for him to have to assist the detail; the need had never come to 'activate' the agent, but Don had still done a few practice runs over the past five months.

"Well, maybe they're not using the same frequency," Megan replied. "Look, we'll worry about the radio hack. You focus on racing. And Don?"

"Yeah?" Don said as he started the engine.

"Be careful."

Don didn't reply as he put the car into gear and rolled over to the starting line, putting himself between Rory and Kelly's vehicles as the group of people lined up on both sides of the group of vehicles. He glanced to his right at Rory's vehicle a few feet away, a 1994 Dodge Dakota pickup with really big wheels; the body was painted blue, with red dragons wearing green bowler hats. Rory glanced over and smirked at Don and David as he gunned his engine. On the other side of Rory's truck was Pete's car, a bright green 1998 Ferrari F335. Don turned to his left and glanced past Paul and Kelly at Theo. Theo didn't acknowledge anyone as he faced forward. Movement out of the corner of his eye, and he looked over and saw Calvert standing on the right side.

"Engines ready!" Calvert shouted as he raised his arm. The five engines gunned loudly in response. Calvert waited a few seconds before he suddenly brought his arm down. "Go!" Tires squealed as the five cars shot forward, heading out of the property and turning a sharp right onto Anaheim as the crowd cheered.

"Be careful," Paul said as he made sure his seatbelt was secured. Even with Kelly behind the wheel, knowing she was a good driver, Paul knew this wasn't Hazzard … and he was a little worried about their safety.

"I know what I'm doin'," Kelly said as she swerved around a Lincoln. "I have raced before." She was neck to neck with the other racers, which was unacceptable to her. The young woman saw a space in between ahead of the Lincoln beside her and another car in front of her; she hit the gas pedal quickly cut over, ignoring the sound of the horn honking behind her. She shot ahead, smiling; the other racers quickly caught up by swerving around other vehicles.

"This isn't being careful," Paul said as they approached the first major intersection. Even with the green light in their favor, the agent braced himself as the vehicles reached the intersection and sharply turned to the left. Wheels squealed and cars braked hard to avoid crashing as the racers sped off down Avalon. Paul glanced behind him to make sure there were any wrecks.

"Everything okay back there?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah," Paul answered. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he gripped the door handle, keeping quiet about his true feelings.

From their van, Trisha and Murphy were on the edges of their seats as they watched their partner and charge. Every time something potentially dangerous reared up, they had to force themselves not to shout orders to Kelly. She was a good driver, they knew it, and they couldn't really offer her any advice. She was doing something that required split-second decision making, something they couldn't help her with.

"Just be glad Charlie isn't here," Trisha replied. "He'd be shouting advice every five seconds like a backseat driver." Murphy snorted and rolled his eyes in agreement.

Don gripped the steering wheel tightly as the five vehicles rounded the corner, making a hard left onto Figueroa. Once he straightened, Don glanced to his side and saw Kelly and Paul's car beside them, neck and neck.

"D---, she's good," David mused. He glanced at Don and saw his superior looked less than pleased. "Well, she is."

"What's going on?" Megan asked.

"Just commenting on Kelly's driving skills," David replied. "She's keeping neck and neck with us and the other racers."

"Really?" Colby asked.

"Yeah, she knows how to control a car," David replied. "I mean, she said she was a good driver, but d."

"This is why we should have gotten a video feed," Colby replied, wishing he could see the action.

The cars continued speeding down the street, swerving around cars as they approached Sepulveda Boulevard. Rory, Theo, and Pete had managed to stay close to the other two racers in a tight formation, but after turning the corner, their little formation suddenly broke apart. Rory started slowing down while Pete stayed on Kelly's left side, and Theo pulled ahead.

"What are they doing?" Paul asked, watching the trio. Theo pulled over in front of the Challenger, while Rory stayed close on the car's tail, and Pete edged closer to Kelly's side.

"They're boxin' me in," Kelly growled. She tried to swerve around Theo on the right, but the three cars stayed with her, keeping her from moving ahead or speeding up past their current velocity. After a few seconds, the young woman sighed, frustrated. "Paul, do me a favor and hang on."

"Why?" Paul asked worriedly.

"I'm gonna try a pinball maneuver," Kelly answered.

"What's a pinball maneuver?" Paul asked.

"Do ya really wanna know?" Kelly retorted.

Paul opened to respond, but then he paused and decided to change his answer. "No," he finally said. "Do it … just don't get anyone killed."

Kelly gave a small smile before her expression turned serious. "Tighten yer seatbelt," she said, "and hold on." Paul obeyed as Kelly suddenly took her foot off the accelerator, slowing her speed. The car was suddenly rammed from behind, propelling the car forward, and Paul reflexively turned around to see Roy's truck riding close to the bumper of the challenger before starting to swerve out of control. He turned around as Kelly maintained control of the car, flooring the gas pedal and turning the wheel to the left. Her car hit the side of Pete's Ferrari, ramming it hard and causing it to turn away from the Challenger. The back of Theo's car was fast approaching, and Paul was afraid Kelly was going to clip the white Avenger, but then he recognized what she was about to do.

Kelly pulled alongside Theo's car until the front of her car was aligned with the back of his. The young woman gently made contact with the side of Theo's car, then she steered sharply into the vehicle. The rear tires of the Avenger quickly lost traction and started to skid. Theo reflexively put on his brakes, turning in the same direction as he started spinning out. As Kelly shot forward, Paul looked behind him in time to see all three vehicles spinning out and stopping in the street; the agent knew they were out of the race, leaving only their car and black Plymouth.

"Son of a b----," Don muttered, half impressed by Kelly's skills and half frustrated that she had done something so stupid and dangerous.

"Who the h--- is this girl?!" David asked as Don swerved around the three vehicles.

"What?" Megan asked. "What did we miss?"

"Man, you should have seen it!" David replied. He did his best to explain to his partners the stunt Kelly had just pulled.

"You're kidding," Megan said after David had finished.

"Wish he was," Don replied, "but he isn't."

"Dude, we have got to get video feed now," Colby said.

"Yeah, 'cause you can get video evidence of me killing her," Don replied, his voice low with edge as he floored the accelerator. He edged close to Kelly and Paul as they crossed a set of railroad tracks before turning south on Almeda. After straightening out, Don sped up, approaching the back of the Challenger. Kelly saw the Plymouth fast approaching in the rearview mirror.

"Oh, no ya don't," Kelly said as she swerved and blocking Don.

"What the h--- is she doing?" Don asked angrily, trying to swerve around, but Kelly kept moving in front of him.

"I don't think she wants you to win," David replied.

"What's she doing?" Colby asked.

"She's starting to become a pain in the a--," Don answered angrily, trying to steer around Kelly but not succeeding.

"Can I make a suggestion?" David asked.

"What?" Don asked.

"You don't try to pass her," David replied. "Last people who messed with her spun out in a cloud of smoke at Banning – and there were three of them. Think of what she could do to this one car. I don't know about you, but I'd like to actually get through our first race without getting hurt."

Don gave his partner a look, but he knew David was saying – and he knew David was right; it wouldn't do themselves any good if they hurt. The agent backed off a little, keeping pace behind the Challenger. The remainder of the race went smoothly as the two cars made their way back to where the race had started.

Kelly pulled into the property and stopped behind the starting line as the group of people came running over to the winning car, cheering and shouting. Don and David pulled up and stop the car nearby, getting out and staying near their car, watching the commotion.

Calvert pushed his way through the crowd, smiling at Kelly as she and Paul climbed out of the windows. As soon as Kelly put her feet on the floor, Calvert took Kelly's hand and raised it high in the air.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" he shouted. "The winner tonight: BamBam!" The crowd whooped and hollered.

"'BamBam?'" Kelly asked.

"My spotters saw what you did on Sepulveda," Calvert replied. "I have direct video feed into those cameras, so I saw it, too. Spinning three cars out at once – bam, bam, bam … that's impressive, especially without causing an accident."

"The others are in one piece, then?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah, they're on their way back," Calvert replied. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ten thousand dollars, handing it to the young woman. "Your winnings." Kelly took the money, grinning.

"What now?" she asked, pocketing the money.

"Go home and get some rest," Calvert answered. "You've earned it."

"And tomorrow?" Kelly asked.

"Well, I'm usually at The Empty Bottle for lunch," Calvert said. "You and your brother can come by if you want."

"I didn't think ya approved of drinkin' durin' races," Kelly replied

"I don't," Calvert said. "But they got the best burgers around."

"Well, then, I think we might be able ta swing by," Kelly replied. "I'm a sucker fer a good burger. Where and when?"

"Denni and Wilmington at twelve forty-five," Calvert answered.

"We'll be there," Kelly said. Calvert nodded and headed toward the agents as the crowd started dispersing.

Don and David watched Kelly and Paul as the two climbed back into their car. Kelly glanced over and saw the two agents looking at her; she paused. Their expressions spoke volumes, and Kelly knew she would be getting yelled at by them at the first possible moment, and she was a little nervous, but she quickly pushed it all aside as she climbed into the car and put it into gear before driving off.

(End of Chapter 9)


	10. Chapter 10

- - - - 

While Kelly was in the shower, Paul sat on his bed, all the money from Kelly's winnings spread out on a large flat tray in front of him; all the lights in the room were on, bathing the room in brightness. He had wondered about the possibility of doing a scan on the fingerprints but soon realized it would be a futile attempt, seeing how many hands money passed through each day; for the time being, he'd just settle for seeing if the money was legitimate. The agent picked up each bill, carefully examining the portraits, the Federal Reserve and Treasury seals, borders, and serial numbers of each bill, as well as the paper the bills were printed on, with a high powered magnifying glass.

"How's the testing coming along?" Trisha asked.

"Almost done," Paul replied. "So far, all the bills I've looked at are legit. What about the three stooges?" The agent listened as his partners told him about the trio, giving their backgrounds on the three other racers.

"Sounds like a fun bunch," Paul replied sarcastically as he picked up the last bill.

"A lot better than yours," Murphy replied. "I'll take a few criminals over pretending to be Kelly's brother any day."

"At least I don't have to pretend to be her boyfriend," Paul replied. He heard Trisha and Murphy shudder. "Yeah, tell me about it. That'd just be so wrong." The trio started snickering.

"Hey!" The trio stopped when they heard the shrill voice. "I can hear every word y'all say."

"Your point, Kelly?" Paul asked, smiling. The wires and microphones had been designed to be waterproof, so it wasn't a surprise to hear Kelly's voice over the sound of running water.

"I'm just sayin' stop talkin' about me like I'm the plague, okay?" Kelly replied. "And fer the record, I am also glad that I don't have ta lip lock with Paul."

- - - -

Don sat on his bed in the hotel room, reading through a file as he absently flipped through the channels with the sound off. He was exhausted and felt grungy, but he was more exhausted than anything, so he let David have first dibs on the shower. It was also nice to have a little quiet, especially after the race.

"Bingo."

"What?" Don asked as he stopped reading and looked up, listening.

"I think we got the line tapped now," Megan replied. "Now, we won't be able to communicate with them, but we should hear what they're saying."

"Well, bring 'em up," Don said as he put the file aside and turning off the remote. He sat still, listening.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

Don shouted and grabbed the side of his head, his ear ringing.

"Kelly, what's wrong?" he heard Paul asked.

"Kill it!" Kelly shouted. "Kill it!"

"What's going on?' Don asked as he got to his feet, his heart pounding.

"We don't know," Colby replied over the shouting. "We can't understand what they're shouting."

"Well, where are they?" Don asked.

"We're trying to locate them now," Megan replied.

"Well, hurry up," Don demanded. "David!" David hurried out of the bathroom, a towel covering his waist, one hand holding it up, and water dripping everywhere.

"What?" David asked. "What's going on?"

"It's Kelly," Don answered. He focused his attention back on his other partners as David scrambled for his wire and earpiece. "Where is she?" The case was forgotten; all that mattered now was Kelly's safety.

"We don't know," Colby replied.

"Find her!" Don shouted as he heard the shouting from the Secret Service's transmission. He couldn't hear much, just a lot of incoherent shouting. A few seconds passed, then -

"Oh, my God!"

Don and David stopped as they heard Paul shouting and looked at each other, confused. The tone of his voice wasn't laced with fear but incredulity. The agents listened in.

"Kelly, you have got to be kidding me. Trisha, Murphy, stand down."

"Don't stand down, guys! Paul, kill it!"

"It's a cockroach!"

Don and David looked at each other, blinking repeatedly. Kelly was screaming bloody murder … over a cockroach?

"It's devil spawn - kill it!"

"Kelly, get some toilet paper, pick it up, and throw it in the toilet."

"Are ya outta yer mind?! Yer supposed ta protect me! Protect me, d-----!"

"Of course," Paul replied sarcastically, "because we know that roaches have a vicious history of assassination attempts."

"Just shut up and get a newspaper."

"As soon as you get off my back. You're dripping water down my neck, and that towel you're wearing doesn't feel very secure at the moment."

Don and David just stood there, shifting their feet as they listen to the interplay. After a few minutes, things calm down over the airwaves, leaving the two agents standing in an uncomfortable silence.

"You know," David said after a few seconds, jerking his thumb at the bathroom, "I think I'm gonna …." He trailed off.

Don quickly nodded. "Yeah, please feel free to," he replied. David wasted no time in hurrying back into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Don just stood there for a few seconds, still processing what he had just heard, and he finally shook his head. "Okay." He walked over and plopped down on his bed and went back to reading the file.

"Of all the things," David said as he walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and an undershirt.

"What?" Don asked, reading his file.

"Kelly enjoys talking about blood and gore and things like that," David replied. "She was in heaven after that cobra incident last month … and she's scared of a little cockroach?"

"Well, fears are funny things," Megan replied. "We all have fears that other people might find unusual."

"Not me," David replied. "Nothing scares me."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that to a bunch of people whose job is to uncover dark secrets," Don said, smirking.

"Here's a question for you guys," Colby spoke up. "Who is wishing that there had been a camera in that room when Kelly freaked out?" Don and David stared at each other, blinking repeatedly again. They heard Colby chuckle for a few seconds before the sound of a dull smack. "Ow!"

"What was that?" Don asked.

"Megan hit me!" Colby protested. "On the head!"

"You go, girl," David said.

"Hey!" Colby said loudly.

"Serves you right," Don replied. "Kelly's your friend – and she's dating Charlie. How do you think he'd feel about you talking about Kelly that way? I'm not liking it myself, and I'm not even dating her."

"Well," David said slowly, smiling, "that's a matter of debate at the moment."

"Ha ha," Don replied wryly. "Funny."

"Relax, Don," Colby said. "I was just commenting that it would have been funny to see Kelly freak out over a cockroach. Nothing more than that."

Don sighed and shook his head. "Back on task, people," he said. "It's getting late, and we all need to get some rest. Colby, Megan, that includes you both, too."

"I think Megan should apologize for hitting me," Colby said. "I didn't say anything wrong."

"I'm sorry for hitting you, Colby," Megan replied.

"Thank you," Colby replied.

"Can we all get some rest now?" Don asked, smiling. He heard Megan's affirmative and Colby's grunt before he and David and Don started cleaning up their room, finally starting to feel the fatigue from the long day.

- - - -

Fatigue was also setting in for Charlie as he sat at his desk, his normally rich brown eyes dull and bloodshot; a nearly-empty cup of coffee sat nearby. It was late, and he should have felt exhausted, but he had taken Sudafed and – combined with the caffeine from three cups of coffee, fully loaded with sugar and cream – Charlie felt like he could run a marathon.

Or remove a couple of federal agents' heads.

The mathematician couldn't believe what he had heard over his radio. First of all, his girlfriend was freaking out over a cockroach, which was something he was going to have to talk to her about. It was weird enough that she was freaking out over it in the first place, but she screamed way too loud. Not only did she scare him to death, but she made him knock over his coffee mug, and he spilled coffee all over the floor.

Secondly, and more important, was the evidence he had heard confirming his suspicions about how his brother really felt about Kelly. He knew that his girlfriend had been undercover, and he was willing to forgive her for acting the way she did, but for Don – and even Colby – it was a different story. Not only did Colby want to see his girlfriend naked (Charlie could see through that façade of just wanting to see her freak out), but Don hadn't even really protested when David said he was dating Kelly. If it had really been untrue, Don would have really spoken up.

Charlie downed the last of his coffee, contemplating things. He knew he couldn't blame Kelly for people being attracted to her. She was incredibly hot, funny, smart, and just downright amazing. But just because she had all these great attributes, it didn't give anyone the right to go after her. She was his girlfriend, meaning that she was off limits to everyone – especially his own brother.

A loud crash suddenly broke the silence, and Charlie felt a warm liquid on his hand. He looked over and saw a broken piece of the mug in his hand. The young man he looked down and saw the shattered remains of his mug on the floor. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes, frustrated.

"Nice move, genius," he said as he started picking up the pieces and putting them into the nearby trashcan.

"Charlie?" Alan's voice called out as he knocked on the closed door.

"What?" Charlie responded, annoyed.

"Is everything okay in there?" Alan asked. "I heard a crash."

"Yeah, I just dropped something," Charlie answered. "I'm cleaning it up now."

"You want some help?"

"No, I got it."

"You're not fiddling around with that thing from Radio Shack you're not telling me about, are you?"

"Dad, I'm doing some important work." The frustration in Charlie's voice was clear as a bell. "Look, it's gonna take me some time, so just go to bed. I'll be fine." Silence. "Dad?"

"Just don't stay up too long, okay?" Alan replied. "You need your rest, too."

Charlie heard his father's footsteps fade down the hall, and the mathematician sighed and rolled his eyes, and then he went back to cleaning up the mess. He loved his father, but sometimes he could be so nosy; it was annoying. Charlie finished cleaning up the broken mug pieces and focused his attention back on his device. He could hear things just fine, but he still couldn't send any transmissions – and he really had a few things he wanted to get off his chest.

(End of Chapter 10)


	11. Chapter 11

- - - -

The sun shone brightly the next morning as Paul slept soundly in his bed. His hair was rumpled, his eyes were closed, with a small growth of hair on his cheeks and chin. He breathed deeply as he snuggled against his pillows, sinking deeper into them.

"Paul?" The agent furrowed his eyebrows, but he didn't open his eyes. He took a deep breath and let it out. "Paul?"

"Kelly, if it's another roach," he mumbled as he turned on his side, "you can kill it yourself."

"It ain't a roach. I … need ya ta get somethin'."

"Get it yourself."

"Actually … I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I … I can't."

Paul sighed and rolled over, opening his eyes. He was a little confused that Kelly wasn't standing next to the bed. He sat up and looked around; Kelly wasn't even in the room. "Kelly?" he asked.

"In the bathroom," the young woman answered.

Paul yawned and got up, walking over. "What's wrong?" he asked. "You feeling sick?"

"No."

"You hurt?"

"Not exactly."

Paul was not in the mood for Twenty Questions. "Kelly, what is it?"

"Well … it's kind of a … woman … thing."

Paul yawned and nodded. "Oh, okay," he mumbled, half awake. A few seconds passed before he processed what he'd heard – and drinking all the coffee in the world wouldn't have given him the same jolt. His eyes widened as he backed away from the door. "Uh …."

"Paul?"

"Well … are you okay?" the agent said, asked, squirming a little. "Do you need some painkillers or something?"

"If that was all I needed," Kelly replied, her voice laced with sarcasm, "I could come out and kill you."

"So, you're telling me that you don't have … things?" Paul asked.

"No, I don't have 'things,'" Kelly replied, annoyed.

"Why didn't you pack … things?" Paul retorted, annoyed by Kelly's attitude.

"Because ya said we were only gonna be under fer a few days," Kelly replied. "I'm so sorry that my body decided ta screw with me and start a week early."

"You know, sarcasm is not appreciated right now," Paul said. "It's not my fault you have poor planning skills."

- - - -

As Colby and Megan sat in the van, they furrowed their eyebrows, listening to the exchange between Kelly and Paul. They quickly figured out what the two were talking about, but it was still something the FBI agents weren't expecting to hear over the airwaves.

Colby chuckled as he fiddled with a few knobs on the control panel. "Oh, Don and David have to hear this," he said.

"Do you know how embarrassed Kelly has to be right now?" Megan asked. "Haven't you ever had a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, and she never did this," Colby replied. "I think Paul has a right to be upset."

"Well, maybe so," Megan said, "but broadcasting what they're saying to Don and David is just cruel." She paused, thinking, then she smirked, feeling a little plucky, being confined to that van. "Patch 'em through." She pushed a button. "Don, David, wake up." They heard soft muttering and groans. "Rise and shine, boys."

"What?" Don asked, half asleep.

"Guys, we're patching you through to Kelly and Paul," Colby said, grinning. "You gotta hear this."

"Is she screaming about another stupid roach?" David moaned.

"No, this is way better," Colby reassured. "Trust me."

Don sighed. "Patch us through." The two agents listened as they were patched into the transmission.

Kelly sighed and growled. "Look, I'm sorry I forgot those … things," she said. "I saw a grocery store down the street a little. Could you -"

"Don't you even think about finishing that sentence," Paul replied. "I am not going to the store to get you … things."

Don raised his eyebrows, looking at David. "Hey, uh, are they talking about what I think they're talking about?" Don asked.

"Oh, yeah," Colby replied, smirking.

"And why are we listening to this?" David asked.

"Because it's funny," Colby replied. "That girl is too proud, and she needs a little kick in the pants every once in a while."

"Yeah, she does," Don agreed after a few seconds; he snorted. "Maybe we should find something of Charlie's that's equally embarrassing for him …." The two agents settled in, listening to the amusing conversation.

- - - -

"Well, I can't go!" Kelly hissed. "If I could, I wouldn't have even bothered gettin' yer attention in the first place!"

Paul put a hand to his ear. "Guys, you copy this?" he asked.

"Copy you loud and clear," Murphy replied. Even though he couldn't see him, Paul knew his partner was smirking.

"Trisha, we need your help," Paul said.

"So, I hear," Trisha replied, "but -"

"Don't say 'but,'" Paul interrupted. "Do not say 'but.'"

"Well, I would be glad to help rectify the problem here," Trisha replied, "and get you off the hook."

"Then come inside and take Kelly to the store," Paul said. "Please."

"I can't," Trisha replied.

"Why not?" Paul asked.

"Because we've been watching a guy," Murphy answered.

Paul furrowed his eyebrows. "Uh … well … that's … that's nice," he replied slowly.

"You know, for that remark, I think you should go to the store," Murphy replied.

"Why are you watching a guy anyway?" Paul asked, frustrated.

"Because he's been hanging out in front of the motel since you guys returned last night," Murphy replied.

Paul furrowed his eyebrows. "Say that again," he said. "Who is he?"

"We don't recognize him from last night," Trisha replied, "but we think he might be part of Calvert's group sent to check you out."

"How many guys does he have?" Kelly asked.

"You stay out of this," Paul said.

"Well, I got nothin' else ta do," Kelly retorted. "I'm kinda stuck inside the bathroom until someone gets me some … things."

"Trisha can do it," Paul replied quickly.

"I have to stay put," Trisha said. "If I leave, and this guy's a part of Calvert's gang, then your covers could get blown." She covered a snicker. "Sorry, Paul, but you're going to have to help Kelly."

"That means I have to go down the … woman's aisle," Paul said, cringing. "I shouldn't have to do that! That is not part of my job description! Even when I was dating back in DC, my girlfriend never made me go down that aisle!"

"Well, believe me, if I could do it myself, I would," Kelly replied, annoyed, "but I can't, so that means – wait a second. You had a girlfriend?"

"Don't sound so shocked," Paul replied as he started getting dressed.

- - - -

Charlie yawned and walked into his bedroom from the bathroom, a towel around his waist as he used another one to dry his hair. He had woken up with a splitting headache, feeling like he hadn't gotten any sleep, figuring a nice shower would be something to help clear his head and wake him up. Unfortunately, the only thing it had accomplished was to give him cleaner hair; his head still hurt, and he still felt sleepy.

The mathematician headed for his dresser, then stopped when he saw the steaming mug of fresh coffee on his desk, next to his radio, along with a piece of paper; Charlie walked over and picked it up, seeing his father's handwriting:

_I didn't touch anything, but I thought you could use some fresh coffee. I hope you got some rest and are feeling better._

_Dad_

Charlie rolled his eyes, annoyed that his father had come into his room without asking, even if he was bringing coffee; the mathematician wasn't in the mood for having his personal space invaded. He wadded up the paper and tossed it into the wastebasket before grabbing the mug and slowly sipping the liquid; he turned on his radio, wondering what he was going to have to hear today.

- - - -

"Who was she?" Kelly asked.

"None of your business," Paul answered as he put on his shoes and grabbed his wallet from the nightstand. "Now, look, I'm going to go to the store and get your stuff. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"So, who's gonna watch me?" Kelly asked.

"Do you need watching?" Paul asked, daring her to say something snarky.

"No, I'll just stay in here until ya get back," Kelly replied, her voice losing some of its edge.

"Good answer," Paul said as he headed to the door and opened it. He took a step out, then he stopped, remembering that he hadn't asked Kelly the ... specifics on her … things. He turned and opened his mouth, but then he remembered that everything being said over the wires was being recorded – and going to be transcribed. The agent was still feeling annoyed at Kelly for the roach incident last night - and what he was doing for her this morning – and a smirk slowly spread across his face before he turned back to face the room.

"Hey, sis," he said from the open door, speaking loudly in a Southern accent, just in case the guy watching him could hear, "I fergot ta ask ya: what size are ya again, and do ya prefer the cardboard or the plastic applicator?"

The FBI agents were really glad that the Secret Service couldn't hear them as the four agents lost it right then and there. Megan and Colby cackled loudly inside the van, and Don and David were laughing so hard that they almost fell off their beds. Charlie had the unfortunate timing of taking a sip when Paul asked that question, and he turned his head to the side and spit out his coffee, spraying his window curtains. Everyone quickly quieted down, waiting to hear how Kelly was going to react to what Paul had just said to her, bracing for a barrage of swear words.

"When this is over, Paul," Kelly's voice was unusually low and laced with venom, "I'm gonna kill ya."

"Ah, ah, ah," Paul mockingly chided her as he left, closing the door to the motel room. He walked down to the main street and turned left, heading down the sidewalk. "You do realize that threatening a federal agent is a serious offense."

"And mockin' a woman on PMS is a serious offense, too," Kelly retorted.

"Well, seeing as how you don't have that problem," Murphy said, smirking, "then we have nothing to worry about." He saw the man following Paul at a distance. "Hey, Paul, the guy's following you."

"Thanks for the heads up," Paul replied quietly. He fought the urge to turn and look at the guy.

"Whoa, whoa," Charlie said angrily, even though he knew no one could hear him, "who's going to watch Kelly, you idiot?"

"So, who's going to keep an eye on Kelly?" Trisha asked.

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I asked first," he said as he put his mug down and went to his dresser to get some clothes.

"Kelly?" Trisha asked.

"What?" Kelly asked, annoyed. "I ain't plannin' on leavin' this bathroom until Paul returns, don't worry."

"Good," Trisha replied. "And if you hear any strange noises -"

"I'll just pull a horror flick," Kelly interrupted sarcastically.

"What?" Trisha asked.

"It means she'll stupidly investigate it on her own," Murphy answered. "Kelly, if you do that … you will regret it." Kelly responded by blowing a raspberry loudly into her wire. 

Paul rolled his eyes at Kelly's remark as he walked down the street. It took him a few minutes to reach the store, and he walked in. He paused to look around, not sure which aisle he needed. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet for a few seconds before walking up to the nearest cashier, thankful it was a woman … actually, she didn't look much older than Kelly.

"Can I help you?" she asked cheerfully.

"Uh … yeah," Paul replied slowly, scratching the back of his neck. "I, uh … kinda need to know where the aisle is with the …," he inwardly winced, "woman … stuff."

The cashier smiled, understanding. "It's on Aisle 5," she replied.

"Thanks," Paul mumbled, blushing, as he headed off for the aisle. He finally found it and stopped short, seeing the rows stocked top to bottom with feminine products. "Oh … my … God."

"What's wrong?" Trisha asked.

"How many … things do you women need?" Paul asked.

"Will you just go down there, you big chicken?" Trisha asked.

"Seriously," Paul hissed quietly as he slowly walked down the aisle. "Wings, no wings, scented, unscented, ultra long, maxi … there is nothing in my job description that says I have to do this!"

"Paul, grow a pair!" Kelly shouted. "Just grab a box and get back here!"

"I have no idea what to grab!" Paul retorted, whispering loudly.

Kelly sighed loudly, knowing this conversation was going to be recorded, but there was no way to get around it without annoying Paul further. "Look," she said, lowering her voice, "just … just get me the … Tampax Pearl Plastic Multipax, okay?"

Paul searched the rows uncomfortably until he found the right box. He quickly grabbed it and hurried as fast as he could to the checkout. He waited impatiently for the cashier – the same one he had talked to earlier – to ring up the price and bag the box, and he shoved some bills into her hand and grabbed the box, not waiting for the change, and made a beeline for the sliding doors. He saw the guy who had been following him pretending to read a newspaper, and he sighed.

"This guy is awful at his job," he said quietly. "He might as well have just walked up to me and said, 'Hey, I'm following you.' Would have saved him some dignity."

"Well, not everyone can be a Secret Service agent," Kelly replied sarcastically. "Now, git back here."

"Yes, your highness," Paul said, just as sarcastic. He headed down the street back to the motel, knocking on the door, knowing he was being followed, changing his voice. "Hey, sis, I'm back, and I got yer tampons!" He waited for the door to open, and he saw Kelly glaring at him, her cheeks bright red; he smiled brightly. "There ya are!"

"Give me that," Kelly hissed, grabbing the bag and storming to the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

"You're welcome," Paul muttered as he walked into the room and shut the door. He walked over and sat on the edge of his bed. "How long do you plan on being?"

"Why?" Kelly asked, annoyed. "Ya got a date?"

"No, but I would like to get the car fixed," Paul replied. "After your little stunt last night, I really don't want to get pulled over by the police for a broken taillight." There was silence. "Kelly?"

"Fine," the young woman replied curtly. She came out a few minutes later, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and her boots; she wore her red wig, and her eyes were both blue, and she scowled at Paul as she grabbed her purse. "Let's go."

"Hold it, princess," Paul said. "We need to have a little talk about your attitude first."

"Oh, really?" Kelly said, stopping and facing him, folding her arms. "What about it?"

"How about you drop it?" Paul suggested. "Like right now."

"I only have an attitude 'cause of what ya did," Kelly retorted, her eyes daggers. "Ya embarrassed me by yellin' my personal business fer all the world ta hear."

"Only because you were acting like a spoiled brat about the whole thing," Paul replied. "You're an adult, so plan things better and act more mature when things don't go the way you want them to; don't take it out on me, okay?"

Kelly opened her mouth, but she couldn't think of anything to say back to him; he was right. She sighed and sat down on the nearest bed. "I'm sorry," she said as rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I didn't mean ta be, honest. I just …," she sighed, "I'm a little stressed out at the moment. I've never officially been undercover before, and with Charlie bein' the way he was, and y'all havin' ta kick him out, and then with how Don and David were bein' …." She trailed off.

- - - -

"Whoa, hold the phone," Don said, frowning. "Did Kelly just say Charlie had known about her and Paul going undercover?"

"Sounds like it," David replied.

"Oh, that does it," Don said, reaching for his cell. "I'm calling Charlie."

- - - -

"You knew what you were doing, Kelly," Paul said. "This has nothing to do with you being stressed out. You were being vindictive because you were mad at me."

"Well, she had every reason to," Trisha replied. "You did blab about her … personal life. I'd be mad, too."

"Thank you," Kelly said.

"But you didn't have to yell at him and behave the way you did, Kelly," Trisha continued. "Both of you were in the wrong, and I suggest you work this out – or we'll just walk away from this thing right now, and I'll let the two of you explain to the director why." Paul and Kelly glanced at each other. "You have until the count of three. One, two -"

"Okay, okay," Kelly interrupted. "Give us a second, okay?" She sighed and turned to Paul, completely sincere. "Look, I shouldn't have gotten mad at ya, regardless of what was goin' on. That wasn't fair, and I'm sorry."

"And I shouldn't have yelled about your … personal stuff," Paul replied, just as sincere. "I was angry at you, but that doesn't excuse it. I'm sorry, too." He took in a deep breath. "And I do understand stress. Believe me, I'm your bodyguard."

"Thanks," Kelly replied sarcastically, smiling.

"I'm serious," Paul replied, smiling a little. "You do have to admit it; you are a tough case."

"I keep ya on yer toes," Kelly said.

Paul chuckled. "That is definitely true," he replied. He took a deep breath. "So, we okay?"

Kelly nodded. "Yeah, we're cool," she answered.

"And can you do me one more favor?" Paul asked.

"What?" Kelly responded.

"Don't ever make me go down that aisle again," Paul answered. "Ever."

Kelly chuckled. "Promise. I don't even ask Charlie ta go down there; he'd prolly have a heart attack just lookin' down there." She and Paul shared a good laugh as they headed out of the motel room.

(End of Chapter 11) 


	12. Chapter 12

- - - -

Charlie sat at his desk, arms folded, glaring at his cell phone as it rang. He knew his brother was calling him – he had heard the entire conversation – but he wasn't about to answer the phone and get chewed out by his own brother for something he didn't even do.

"Come on, Charlie, pick up the phone," he heard Don say.

"No," Charlie replied, even though his brother couldn't hear him.

"Pick up the d--- phone!"

"No!"

Charlie heard his brother growl and mutter something inaudible under his breath. His cell went silent, and Charlie started to relax, then the house phone suddenly rang. The mathematician scrambled out of his chair, heading out of his room and down the stairs to answer it before his father – regretting the decision to take his phone out of his room earlier that year so it wouldn't disturb him – and he was halfway to the top of the stairs when Alan answered it; he skittered to a stop, listening.

"Hello?" Alan asked as he picked up the phone.

"Put Charlie on the phone, now," Don demanded loudly.

"Good to hear from you, too, Donny," Alan replied wryly. "I thought you were undercover."

"I am," Don said. "I need to talk to Charlie, and he's not answering his phone."

"Charlie never answers his phone," Alan replied.

"And I'm busy!" Charlie added.

"And he says he's busy," Alan replied to his older son.

"So, he is there?" Don asked.

"Yes," Alan replied. "And would you please stop shouting at me? I don't know what's going on, but stop the shouting. And is it safe for you to be calling?"

"Yeah, I can hear him all the way upstairs," Charlie muttered.

"Yes, it's safe, but I don't have a lot of time," Don said. "Put Charlie on the phone."

"Now, Don, you know Charlie is an adult," Alan replied, "so I can't make him do something he doesn't want to."

"Dad, he was withholding information from us about Kelly and Paul going undercover," Don replied.

"So, when did you figure it out?" Alan asked.

"When we saw – hey, wait a minute, you knew?" Don asked. He sighed. "Why not? Charlie seems to only keep his mouth shut around me."

"I didn't know at the time you told me you and David were going undercover that Kelly and Paul were also going undercover!" Charlie protested, moving back into his room to argue with the radio. "It's not my fault you didn't talk with them!"

"Don, you need to calm down," David put in. "We're going to be leaving soon, and I don't want you driving when you're angry and crashing the car."

"David, is that you?" Alan asked, smiling when he recognized the agent's voice.

"Hey, Mr. Eppes," David replied, taking the phone from Don. "How's it going?"

"Not bad," Alan replied. "How's undercover?"

"It's pretty fun, actually," David answered. "I don't know what you know about Kelly's driving, but she kicked major a in the race last night."

"Give me that," Don said, taking his phone back. "Look, Dad, can I speak to Charlie or not?"

"I'm busy!" Charlie shouted.

Alan raised an eyebrow. He knew sound traveled well in the house, but he was downstairs on the phone, not talking loud, and yet Charlie was upstairs able to respond as if he could hear every word of the conversation. The elder Eppes became a little suspicious about his younger son's mysterious activities, having a pretty good idea about what Charlie was actually doing.

"Don, I have to go," he said. "Be careful." He hung up, even as he heard Don protesting, and then he made his way up the stairs to Charlie's room. He didn't even bother knocking as he walked in, seeing Charlie fiddling with that strange device on his desk. "You mind telling me what that is, or should I guess?"

"Dad, this is my room," Charlie said angrily. "The door was closed; you should have knocked."

"Charlie, do you think I was born yesterday?" Alan asked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Charlie replied.

"Okay, let me try another way," Alan said. "You get kicked off an investigation, go to Radio Shack, spend an hour on the roof with a strange-looking satellite dish, had an argument with Larry last night that you refused to talk about, then you lock yourself in your room. Add to that the fact that you are responding to every accusation that Don has made against you – along with the fact that that device on your desk is transmitting your brother's voice – and I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you have been spying on your brother."

"I am not spying on my brother," Charlie said. "I was checking on Kelly, and -"

"Oh, so you were eavesdropping on the Secret Service," Alan interrupted, frowning. "Charlie, have you lost your mind? Do you realize how much trouble you could get into if they caught you?"

"If they hadn't kicked me off, I wouldn't have to do this," Charlie replied. "I'm just making sure Kelly's okay. Paul and the others don't seem to care if she puts herself in danger, but I do. Besides, Don and the others tapped into their line first."

"Oh, well that makes it all better, then," Alan said sarcastically. He sighed, frustrated. He knew Charlie was just being protective, but this was going beyond that; he was committing a federal offense. "Charlie, you stop doing that right now."

"Or what?" Charlie asked, folding his arms.

"Or I call the local field offices for both agencies and let them know what you're doing," Alan replied.

"You wouldn't," Charlie said.

"In all the times you have known me," Alan retorted, folding his arms, "have you ever successfully called one of my bluffs?"

Charlie scowled, knowing his father was right. "She's my girlfriend, Dad."

"I don't care," Alan replied. "Turn that d--- thing off right now."

"Crap." Father and son glanced over at the radio, hearing Kelly's voice. "Paul, what do I do?"

"Pull over," Paul said. "You weren't speeding, were you?"

"No," Kelly replied. She sighed. "Must be the busted taillight." Both Alan and Charlie focused their attention on listening to what was going on, pushing their argument aside – for the time being.

(End of Chapter 12)


End file.
